relationship advice (post new situation)
I divorced my ex husband after 25yrs marriage. I had security but that was about it. Anyway, I met my new husband about 4 months after I left my ex husband. He seemed so nice like he would do anything to make me happy. A month after my divorce we were married. I had recieved a little money in my divorce settlement and as soon as we got back from Las Vegas from our honey moon (Money from my divorce paid for the trip) the very next day as a matter of fact we went and looked for a new mobile home. (My money from my divorce paid down on it) It is very nice we moved it on his property. My last marriage I got married at 18 and we practically raised each other. We had life insurance on us as well as our kids. I never felt insecure whatsoever. I recently ask my new husband about us getting a policy just enough to pay for a funeral and help me pay any unpaid debts we might have at the time. He went crazy, he acted like I had insulted him suggesting such a thing. I told him it would make me feel secure and surely it would be of somekind of ease to him if he had a little to help him along if something was to happen to me. He has a son he is 19 and on his own. But he has raised him and they are quite close, and his reply to my suggestion was "There's only one person in this world I feel I would want to leave anything to and thats MY SON! I understand he would like to have something to leave for his son, I have three of my own but I would never think of leaving them everything and my spouse nothing. I want my marriage to work but it really hurts for him to say that. I can't help but feel like he has this new home on HIS land and now he don't care what happens to me. I don't know what to do, I hate the fact I trusted him so and I have used most of my settlement money to make us a home ON HIS LAND and he doesn't even want to consider discussing our future plans. Have I become a victim of some jigalo that will up and try to throw me out when all my moneys gone? I hate to think that but I don't know what to do, I hate this feeling but I'm scared to let my gaurd down to much. A husbands first concern should be his wife then his kids am I wrong or write?
posted by Josie (age 44) on 7/20/2009 @10:04:01 AM •
Calm down. There are several problems in one question..1.) Did he ask you to pay for the honeymoon; did you volunteer? 2.) You /we used the rest on a down payment on a trailer? 3.) Your home is your home, his land is your land. You are married. Are you still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship or have things turn real. Any man who is a jigalo would NOT have married you...they play you- for clothes, cars, jewerly &etc.
Seperate your issues. Then make up your mind. In the mean time and in between time, stay calm, rational and for the love of all you consider sacred; take each issue on it's own. Fellings are deceptive, love isn't.
posted by Lu on 7/22/2009

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