family advice (post new situation)
"Being Stuck in the Middle "
Ok it was June of 2007, right after i grad. 6th grade i went to Cali. as a gift. Right? Well the month that i was there, my hole life back home was changed and will not go back to the way it was. See my mom calls me and so we talk for a little bit and then she said that she left my dad, (and as a kid i never thought that divorce would ever happen to me and my family that i love) as i find, of course i ball my self to sleep and try to forget about it and think it was all a bad dream but i knew the truth sadly. then soon the month had past and it was time for me to go back home. well i cant be for sure but i beleive she forgot to say that she took all most every thing out of the house where we were living. ............ well ok this is really hard to talk about and i think you get what im saying and so im ill just get to the point. ........ so now both my parents think bad of each other or i guess you could say hate, but idk. and now my sis and my bro have picked sides and im left in the middle and left trying to hold my family together. My dad wants me full time and my mom wants the same and i cant be away from them both for long amounts of time or then i get super needy. and want i want is to have my cake and eat it too.... grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i have a BIG problem with other peoples feelings, i HATE making people unhappy or hurt!!! so ya the last few years havent been so great.... and i dont know what to do any more..... im so lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Brystel (age 14) on 8/20/2009 @12:03:24 AM •
Phew.....I cant belive i still have my lucky stars when i read the part "of course i ball my self to sleep and try to forget about it and think it was all a bad dream but i knew the truth sadly."
You should face up to it!
And you should like call for a family gathering but most important is your mom and dad is there if you want to include ur siblings you could but my way of thinking you said tat ur siblings has picked sides so they would fight it out so mabey you woudlnt want them there... So it would be best if theres you father and mommy only.... And den face up to it tell them the truth of how you feel.!
posted by Jonathan (age 12) on 10/1/2009
i have been there and it was so hard for me too. my parents divorced when i was seven and i never saw it coming. i came home from school to find my house almost completely cleared of my dad's things and it was devastating. for the next ten years, i tried and tried to figure out what wasn't until i was grown that the truth would come out about why they divorced. it's still hard for me to understand - how two people who loved each other so much to have kids together could just call it quits and hate one another. remember that just because they are adults does not mean they will always make the right decisions for you. talk to them in length about every decision that has to do with you, just so you know it's being chosen for your good, not theirs. as much as divorced parents try to keep the kids in mind, they may make some decisions about where you go or how long you're there for their own good. i learned this and still have to deal with this now. can you believe that i'm grown and still have to put up with them trying to 'win' when it comes to the other?! i wish i could tell you an easy solution, but there's just not one. the best advice i have for you is not feel guilty because they chose to tear your family apart. no matter how much they might try to pull at your heart strings, they've done enough of that and you cannot spend your entire teen years worrying about two grown adults who chose this for you and your siblings. live your life and do as YOU please, not anyone else. also, never pick sides. if your parents ever feel that you do, no matter how big or small it seems, they might make you feel horrible down the road (mine did).

i hate that you have to go through this so much. if you need to talk about anything, you can send me a message on myspace. just search for 'word of advice'. i'm mindy. :)
posted by m (age 23) on 10/1/2009

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