family advice (post new situation)
"brother in law moved in"
my brother in law moved in three weeks ago becasue he couldn't afford a place of his own(he only was working part time). he had to move 700 miles to move in with his little brother and me. i know he didn't even bother trying to find another job where he was. it's been 3 weeks that's he's suppose to be looking for a full time job that he can get his own place on. but he's barely done anything to find a job. he's only applied to like 7 places online, only called back like 3 of them, he hasn't even left the apartment to look. instead he spends all day playing some world of warcraft PC game. it's really pissing me off that he's putting in minimun effort to find a job and my husband won't say anything to him about it. i wanted a time limit on his living here, but my husband wouldn't agree to it, as long as he tries he stays, but he's barely trying. how long should we let him stay. i just need some advice on the whole situation. other view points would really help
posted by Jessica (age 22) on 8/21/2009 @11:07:50 AM •
Do not get between brothers. Although, as a wife and sister- in-law, you are depending on your husband to have your back. You must expect the same from yourself.
Don't yell, pout or employ immature actions. Be a little more patient...when three months have passed and your husband says nothing; confront your spouse and be up front. Your husband cannot read your mind...ninety days is ample time for your bro-in-law to secure work and help out with bills, food and etc. Just keep cool until it is obvious this guy is a freeloader. Then, and only then, talk to your husband. Brothers have a long history that you are not part of.. and that's ok.
But given enough time the money will be tighter and jobs even flippin burgers will be expected from big brother. Be cool.
posted by Lu on 8/27/2009
Lu, i appreciate your advice. I'm not trying to get between brothers, and it's not that he doesn't have a job in a few months that would bother me. it's that he's doing almost nothing to find one. most days he gets up and plays a his game until he goes back to bed. my husband and i have tried to talk to him about his search one night and he didn't even bother getting off his game and come sit with us to talk about it. it was like the game was more important.
i have no problem him staying with us for a couple of months, but also know that my husband is in the Navy and goes on deployment in January, which means i would be here alone with him and have absolutely no back up if things went badly. I did live with my brother-in-law and their mother for the two months he was in basic training and when he got back, his brother lied to him about how i'd acted while he was gone. ended up a huge fight between us. so i don't trust what his brother would say even if my husband went out for a week, so i am nothing but really nice to him.
posted by Jessica (age 22) on 8/28/2009

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