life advice (post new situation)
 
 
"help"
 
im a 20 yr old female. i have a five yr old son. im staying with people, not my family tho. im not happy in the enviroment im in, but my son has a roof over his head. i sacrifice my self respect just to see my son taken care of. dont get me wrong they are nice people but they have issues like everybody else. like they get mad at me because i dnt do everythn they want me to do. they call me names when they get mad. they treat me like a maid 95% of the time. i really cant do the things i want to do to get us out of this situation cuz im always doing things for them. they take the things i tell them about my past and make me feel bad about it. they are manipulative, and can be down right nasty at times. they never see whats wrong with them but are always pointing out my flaws. im stressed out because i want to be out on my own but im all alone. i basically have no family to depend on, and they know that. my sons father is not helping me at all. now they buy me and my son things and make sure tht things are straight, but it comes with a price, my self-respect, my confidence, and my pride. no i am not working, but i try my best to pull my share. i clean up behind me and my son plus everybody else. i wash our clothes , and i try to make sure my son is not unruly in the house. now it feels like they are trying to turn my son agaisnt me. i try to raise my son the way i was raised to be nice and kind. and they undermine me in ervery situation. i tell my son no they tell him yes. i say no candy they buy him candy, making me look like the bad guy. my son has seen me so emotinally distresed he has asked me why do we still stay here. i lived in shelters before with my son and i dnt wnt to go back to that. i wand stability and security for my child. here he goes to school and dont have to worry about his next meal or clothes, and everytime i try to leave i think about that. its like sometimes they try to hold me here, not physically , but mentally. i cant talk to anyone about it. im just ready for things to change and i dnt really know the first step. im a baby raising a baby, and im dying on the inside. i cry almost every night cause i feel like a caged animal. and another thing i was raised with diffrent morals and values, and i dnt wnt my son to grow up around these people. im a person who very rarily says no and i hate to see people dwn and out. i usually put everyone else before i put myself and im learning u cant do tht. im just tired of being sick and tired. and many people would say leave go somewhere else, but its hard to jump off a cliff if u dnt know how hard the ground is.
 
posted by drea (age 20) on 10/12/2009 @11:28:07 AM •
 
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