family advice (post new situation)
"My dad broke my heart"
About 3 1/2 years ago I was the happiest man in the world. I have a wife who is wonderful and I come from a VERY supportive family who has always loved me. About 2 1/2 years ago one day me and my wife visit my parents house as we normally would on weekends, but this time was different. As I was in another room my dad decides to make an inappropriate move on my wife. My wife stepped away and calls me outside where she explained what happened. I was in shock and so was my wife. We left my parents house and we didn't visit for about 4 to 5 months. I confronted my dad one day but he denied everything. Nothing was ever the same again. I loved my dad and he was my beacon of light to guide me through life, I loved him so much.I got depressed for many years. This year even more shocking news. Around February my mom calls me in a tone I hadn't heard from her before and she told me, OVER THE PHONE, that it was time for me to know that my dad was not my real dad. My mom left my biological father since I was a newborn and my dad(step) took care of us since I was 4 months old. My dad(step) was not perfect, I found out he was a possessive and very jealous person, but he always gave me good advice and always treated me and my brothers(his) and sisters(his) equally. I met my biological father soon after the news. About four months ago my wife told my mom about the incident it blew up and I was forced to really confront my father and tell him not to be threatening my mom and to admit to his mistake, but he denied. My mom in anger told him she had secretly told me about my real dad which he did not know I already knew. ( I resent her for using me as a tool for hurting him back) In the end he is gone moved far away with nothing but his clothes. I need help, I need mature advice as to how I should move on in my life. I have mixed feelings. I don't feel anything for my biological father, but I miss my old father. At the same time I can't forgive him if doesn't admit to his mistake. ** I know he did it, for many reasons. I know he liked to go to strip clubs, and like young women. He had machismo problems. He even told my wife at the time of the incident that things would stay between them.
posted by Joe (age 25) on 11/19/2009 @4:49:03 AM •
Well Joe, first of all the man you're upset with is your father, he raise doesn't matter that his blood doesn't run through your vains...all that you should take with you is...your father really loves you. As far as him hitting on your wife...let it go men will be men, it doesn't make it right for what he has done, but what do you have to prove by pushing the issues, your a very lucky man to have a pretty wife and men are going to keep hitting on her as long as she lives, you can't take on the world for every man that hits on her, as far as your mom disrespecting your father she's 100% wrong, because if she truly felt he wasn't a good father now...she should have figure that out when you was 4 months and raise you by herself. but let tis be a lesson is love and family is family...go find your father and drop the B.S. before you lose him for good. Good Luck to you
posted by Dave (age 37) on 12/2/2009

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