relationship advice (post new situation)
"Please help me before its too late..."
I have been with my boyfriend now for about 3 years+...I am miserable. He is a slob and is very lazy.
We have gotten into many fist fights lately. I have been making plans to leave him. I think he knows. He is mistreating my children badly. Doing things that I believe are to try and provoke another physical confrontation. My daughter caught him listening to the door on a conversation I was having with my sister. When she told he yelled at her ( as though she were a adult ) and told her she needed to mind her own D*%# business. And that she shouldnt have been telling on grown folks business. Isnt that what he was doing by listening to the door. He never talks he always yells. He is becoming so inmature and childish just to get a spark from me. I know he wants a physical altercation. But I am trying to stick to my plan of leaving, and I cant do that from jail. The house we live in is in both our names. But he pays no rent, or any of the bills. Nor does he clean up after himself. What should I do?
posted by Frances (age 27) on 1/16/2010 @3:05:43 PM •
wow. first of all, no man should EVER be allowed to put his hands on you. you should not allow it and you definitely shouldn't allow your kids to be around that. it sounds like your relationship is volatile and you need to get out. after the physical line (fist fights, etc) has been crossed, there's no going back. you can never un-hit someone. you need to get out before something crazier happens. and jail may be the least of your concerns if something physical happens that involves your kids or worse. sounds like you are a very independent person and he is a leach. what do you have to lose? you can do everything on your own! good luck!
posted by amber on 1/16/2010
What he is doing, is both mentally AND emotionally abusive. You need to pack your bags and run. This guy being a slob and lazy is the very least of his problems. In fact, that's the tip of the iceberg and him not picking up around the house is a method of manipulating you into giving into his wants and needs. The fact the he mistreats your children should be an instant GOODBYE.

Instead of making plans, do it now and do it quickly before his altercations turn even worse.

posted by Hollie on 1/18/2010

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