relationship advice (post new situation)
"In love, but not with husband"
Hi, Ive been married for about 5 years now. When I met my husband I thought he was the one for me. We decided to get married and had to beautiful children. Within the first couple of years everything turned sour. He stopped working, and therefore I had to pay all the bills. On stop of that, he doesnt do anything around the house. There have been many occasions where he will leave me at home and go out with his buddies and have a few drinks (to many), and come home toasted. This had been a pattern, Ive talked to him about being out with his friends and not here with me. We argued several times about this because it continue to go on for several more months. So one day I got tired of it and decided to chat with a few people on the internet. My intentions were just to look for a male friend to socialize with. Since I didnt have that male here to socialize with. Anyways, me and my male friend talked for several months and decided to meet. We met and it seems like it was love at first sight. I told my male friend, that we couldnt be more then friends, bottom line, and not feelings were to be involved. Well, to my surprise I caught feelings for my male friend. Feelings to the point that I fell in love with him. I have fallen so deep in love with him that, I dont know what to do. I love my husband but Im just not in love with him. I feel real bad about putting myself into the position but now I need some advice on how to break free. I mean, if I had to decided on which guy, it would definitely be my male friend, for the simple fact, he is financially put together and which I need that support. My husband is lazy and just dont want to work and everytime I come home with my paycheck he has his hands out and truely Iam so sick of this. I feel like I dont need to struggle alone. Not trying to make up an excuse but this is how I truely feel. If he cant help then I dont need him to bring me down. So please I just need some advice. I dont know what to do.
posted by monique (age 32) on 1/16/2010 @6:52:19 PM •
I would leave him, I completely understand what your going through. Us women need a men to be there, not to bring us down. We need someone to love us, treat us right and support us in every way. I know it's hard as he is the father of your childrens but I'm in the same situation and would love to leave but I feel that we are financial bond together. I can't leave until I know what's going to happen financial. But if your in love and your male friend is willing to support you and your children's and he too loves you. Than why not go with what makes you happy.
posted by e on 1/19/2010

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