relationship advice (post new situation)
 
 
"Very complicated friendship."
 
I'm going to attempt to sum this situation up as simply as I can, so bear with me.

In May, I started dating this wonderful guy. At least at the time he was wonderful. He thought the world of me as well. He never mentioned a flaw of mine. About a month or so into the relationship, he'd get very erratic and depressed on his medication. He's bi-polar and manic, so his behavior was completely new to me and admittedly, I wasn't sure if I could handle it. But I tried and I stuck it out, even when he'd go days with ignoring me. He eventually switched medication and things were seemingly better. But around this time, I discovered he was still in contact with an ex (which he told me he dated for a few months, but never loved her. and in later conversations, told me she was a side girl in his past, because she made him her first priority -- and he liked the attention.) Then at the end of July, a mutual "friend" sabotaged our new relationship with lies. We've maintained quite the complicated friendship since. It doesn't end there.

I found myself so in love with this guy. Who was beyond complicated, flawed, but he meant the world to me. I knew I was in deep at this point. No matter how much I tried, he was always hesitant in dating me again, but if I expressed the slightest bit of discontent with our situation, he'd get defensive and claim I was going to walk out. He said he was still hurt. So I gave him time. Plenty of it. Five months of it, to be exact. We came close to dating again, from what I could tell he felt the same way. But suddenly everything turned to crap again.

His behavior was erratic. He'd start ignoring me, my attempts at being his friend went unnoticed. I directly confronted him, he said I made him utterly miserable. We fought all the time because I couldn't deal with his on and off behavior. One minute he'd act as if he hated me, and the next he'd be saying he loves me so much it hurts. It was almost as if he was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality wise. Literally.

In September, I ended up living with a friend of mine and I didn't have constant contact with him. It was during this time, I noticed his ex was "in love" and "in a relationship" and everything pointed at him being her new boyfriend. I never asked him about this and instead, out of aggravation, told him I didn't want to be strung along anymore. I wasn't going to be a game piece.

He got so upset he started yelling at me. Claiming he wasn't dating her, and hadn't been with anyone since our breakup. That I was the only girl he wanted but he couldn't live up to my 'standards'. All of a sudden everything was my problem, my fault, and all the nice things he used to say about me vanished. I was now miserable myself, he hated talking to me and now, according to him, -I- was bipolar too. He said he felt trapped with me, by his insecurities, and he felt trapped when he wasn't with me. I told him he could wallow in self-pity all he wanted, but he was the one with the problem. And a few days ago...

He had the nerve to tell me I'm the reason he's being re-admitted back to psych, because one of our arguments apparently caused him a mental breakdown. He slashed his neck with a razor, told me to get out of his life, and a second later pleaded with me to stay. Needless to say, that pinched a nerve with me and I haven't talked to him since. But I came across his "ex-girlfriends" blog on accident, and found something rather interesting. Not too surprisingly, he's been dating her on and off for the past 3 years. Not only that, but they fight constantly and he's abandoned her as soon as an ex comes into the picture. I just don't GET this situation or him. A part of me wants to leave, but a bigger chunk of me can't bear the thought of losing him.

What should I do? Please help.
 
posted by Daisy on 1/18/2010 @10:22:53 PM •
 
* no advice has been shared.


 
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