life advice (post new situation)
""i feel broken""
I'm not sure where to start, well i guess I do. About a year ago I met a guy, I swear I have never felt that way about someone ever, even though I'm young. I can honestly say without a doubt I loved him. I can go on about how he made he feel but that's the basis, I stayed in a state for him, which is where I still live, and I pretty much switched schools for him. I would've done anything for him, I let go of stuff that I probably shouldn't have him skipping out when he said we would hang out or not coming to my birthday party and not telling me he could date until he was older...but I guess that was a lie too, cause when I went to the same school he ended up going out with someone a couple months later. For a year I made him my whole world I made him the center of everything. I know I'm young and I was was way stupid for doing that. But during the time he said he couldn't imagine living without me and he loved me blah blah. But him going out with the girl after a couple of months of knowing her and knowing me for a whole year! It just made me feel so worthless and I wasn't good enough. And if I'm being truthful I really do feel like that. Since him and its been about 8 well since then I haven't found anyone to show me that guys aren't all liars and will just play you. I've been moody lately and I feel so uninspired, just not motivated anymore, I dread school, and i used to love it. My friends...well I cant explain exactly about the guy, cause most of them think it was just a "thing" cause we weren't technically going out, but that never meant anything to me, since when do you need a label to feel anything? Well I just can't stand to be with my friends for a long time, cause they just get on my nerves, don't get me wrong, I love them, I really do, they are another reason I stayed. But we've been growing apart...I just don't know what to do. The only time I'm happy is when I'm think about leaving for college cause that's when I plan on leaving for California, i miss it there so much, but that's years away. I just don't know If I'm strong enough to last that long. I can already tell I'm pushing my friends away, and as much as I don't want to do it, I just can't help it. I try and act happy, and sometimes I pull it off, but that's just it, an act. When I talk to my friends about Cali they are completely unsupportive, all they talk about is how it's going underwater, and it sucks, even though they've never really been there. I know maybe I should talk to them about it. But all they'll say is how I'm overreacting and they were just joking. I don't really think they take me seriously, I think they think I'll just end up staying where I am, cause I can tell its in their eyes. I'm just so lost and feel broken. It's like everything is wrong....
posted by Tanya (age 16) on 3/21/2010 @1:32:38 AM •
* no advice has been shared.

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