relationship advice (post new situation)
"boyfriend problems"
Well I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 1/2 years now. We met in junior college. When I first met him he played football and his goal was to get a scholarship to get school payed for and still be able to play football. That didn't end up working out because his grades weren't very good and he didn't have the right classes completed in order to transfer. So after this he kept going to school for one more semester and then decided that he needed a break from it and wanted to join the military. He is 27 by the way and I am 22. He could not join the military until his probation ended in April because he got a DUI back in 2006. So his probation ended and he was talking with a recruiter and getting all his paperwork ready to go until he got his second DUI just a few weeks ago. Now he can't join the military for 4 more years or so. It is frustrating because I am a college student still and trying to reach my goal of becoming a nurse. He does have a part time job but really does not make much money. He still lives at home with his mom and he drinks almost every night. I don't know what to is frustrating for me because I need to be with someone who is motivated and has goals. I know in his heart he has wanted to join the military and serve his country which is a great thing..but now since he can't anymore i am sitting here he just going to sit on his ass at home, play video games, and only work 3 days a week making 8 bucks an hour? I love him very much and we are best friends..but I don't know how much longer I can take it. I need someone who will support me one day and I don't see him really doing that. Will he figure it out one day or am I wasting my time? He is starting to smoke ciggarrettes too which is a huge turn off to me. He does not do it around me only with his friends or when I am not around. I have asked him to not smoke plenty of times but I keep finding packs of ciggarretts in his room or car. It is disgusting. I think he might just be depressed or unhappy in his life...I don't know. He doesn't share all of his feelings with me of course because he is a guy. Please just give me some advice...

posted by Julie (age 22) on 5/15/2010 @3:28:38 PM •
Julie---you are young full of potential and have promise. Drop this! It seems like he does not want to change enough to make it work for you and him. He is far too old to be like this. He needs to man up, make some money and treat his significant other like a princess. You will sink into a depression because you will be upset about constantly coming home to that garbage. IN my mind Julie this is a no brainer. Your young, date a fun loving college guy or a young professional that is making money and enjoying life. Get rid of the dead weight so you can fly and make the most of your life. It is too short and youth is something that comes quickly and then goes. No regret, you hear me? No regret.
posted by amanda on 5/17/2010

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