relationship advice (post new situation)
"Lost I really need some help"
I have dated the same guy for 6 years. I was always intreged by him he was unlike any other guys I have ever dated he was more of a "bad boy" type he liked to party and was just fun to be around. Our relationship has been nothing but rocky. We moved in together about a year into our relationship. I had found out from some friends that while I was at work he had sex with a girl in our apartment. I confronted him about it and he confessed to it and begged me to forgive him, which I did. I later heard other rumors and caught he varies times talking to other women. Part of me wanted to seek revenge for how horribe he made me feel so I did something I have never done to anyone and I cheated on him with my ex. The old saying two wrongs dont make a right is def true! I felt worse after everything and confessed to what happend and he decided to stay with me. Our relationship was ok we did fight a lot but seemed to work through it. Fast forward to now we still live together he has yet to actually forgive me for cheating on him. Our relationship is horrible and unbearable in my eyes. He of course blames me for everything but wont leave. He constantly calles me a Slut, questions me on who im talking to and has forced me to stop talking to friends of mine. I cant go to a store without him going off on me and making me take pictures to prove where I am. He constantly tells me I look horrible then a couple days later tells me the complete opposite in hopes that he will get lucky. If he succeeds in that it seems like he goes right back to his normal ways within a day or two. He hasent worked for 1 1/2 and has not paid one single bill I pay for everything from food to rent to his cell phone. You would think this would make him respect me in some way but it doesnt. He recently just started working a part time job and has some money coming in. Instead of trying to help with bills hes decided to start going out to bars and spending the small amount of money he does have on beer. The other night when he got home around 10:00 pm he went out to a bar and didnt come home until 4:00 am he woke me up so I went out into our living room and he was on the computer and immediatly shut the computer and tried to hide who he was talking to. I asked him about it and he said it was none of my business and he needed me to leave the room because he didnt want me to see who he was talking to. He then preceded to delete everything from my computer. Last night he decided to go out again I asked him where he was going and I found out he didnt go there and he also didnt come home until 4 am again. I overhead him talking to his friend trying to make sure he made it home ok so I know he didnt go where he said he was going to go because his friend knows the way home very well. He then has the nerve to say to me this morning that he needed gas money to get to work! I said no he should have not spent it all at a bar and he then tells me fine I will quit my job ! At this point I want to know if he is cheating on me it seems like he is because why else would he hide the computer and be gone all the time. Really the only time he talks to me is if he needs something. I know I was wrong for cheating on him but I just dont see how this is all my fault and that I deserve this treatment for something I did almost 4 years ago. I just need some advice on what to do if you think he is cheating or what I should do. I threaten to leave him but he doesnt change at all. Sorry for the book but any advice would be awesome!
posted by Jenna (age 25) on 12/2/2010 @2:34:30 PM •
Sweetie, your right 2 wrongs don't make a right you both cheated and it messed things up. I read your story and honey if you can't see that hes useing you then I don't know what else to say. Hes not gonna leave and he does not believe your gonna leave him. believe me when i tell you hes talking to other woman he may not be cheating but he is talking and flirting. I have been through the hide the computer, hide the cell phone issue before and it's bull crap. No one should have to hide what they are doing if your in a realationship. take my advice and put him out!! I know its hard but your both misrable and unhappy. Cut your loses and be done with him. Sorry being honest and blunt, you need to both go seperate ways. love should not be that hard, when it is its not worth it.
posted by kelly (age 37) on 12/16/2010

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