relationship advice (post new situation)
"Stay or Go??"
Long story short...I was with a man for 4 years. We have a daughter together and he is 18 yrs my senior, I am 24. When were living together till he kicked me out in the street. Fast forward a year and a half later, i am settled down in my own place, making great money and enjoying my life, all the while still having contact with him and in the midst of reconciling. I asked him if he had been with anyone while we were separated and he said No. I came clean with all my skeletons as i told him I wanted a CLEAN slate in order to even begin building a friendship let alone another relationship. He said he hadn't done anything, all he wanted was for me to come home.
Here is the issue:
one night I had this gut feeling, this Knot in the pit of my belly that something was up. I asked him one last time if anything ever happened...he said he fooled around with my best friend(His Boss) 4 months after kicking me out.
I called her and the story changed...In fact they Slept together and had a 6 month relationship, expressing his love to her with words and expensive gifts...something He had NEVER done for me in the 4yrs we were together.

He flat out lied to me OVER and OVER...two months into our NEW relationship. Now I don't know what to do...i feel sick and Angry. Should I stay in this relationship and let by gones be by gones or Get out of it as soon as possible?
posted by Yvonne (age 24) on 1/1/2011 @10:57:07 PM •
Go, go go!!! Get out!!!! He lied to you. He kicked you out in the street. You said you are settled in your own place, making great money and enjoying your life. Why would you want this man back? I assume your daughter is young and has adjusted OK to him not being around so much. If you want to break up with him later (and I promise you will) the older she is the more damaging it would be.

This man is too old for you anyway. Trust me, I married a man 14 years older than me. It was fine when I was in my 20s but now I'm married to a boring old man. I hate being stuck with him but my kids are 10 and 8 and I've got a lot of commitments that mean I have to stay put for the time being, but I would love to be free. One day I will. You have that choice now. Do not go back to this man.

Btw, some 'best friend' having a fling with your partner.
posted by Georgie on 1/2/2011
well hi
if I m not wrong everything is clear to you but you are not willing to take the decision because you still love him. isn't it? so dear move on you will find someone better soon
go for a new life in this new year. make it your resolution for the year.
I wish you finn someone more responsible and loving soon.
good day.
posted by kush on 1/2/2011
Your intution was right, and that is the most important thing to listen to. You now have the information needed to make a positive decision for yourself. This person has lied to you and disrespected you, which his really him saying that he does not love you the way you deserve, will not treat you the way you deserve, and will not respect you. If a person has showed you these things, why would you chose to continue a relationship with them? He has shown you the type of person he is going to be towards you, and you must love yourself enough to say "I deserve better, I want better then this, and I will not accept being treated this way." Now that you know that he is ok with himself , treating his partner this way, you can safely assume that the disrespect will continue. And without trust, there is no positive relationship. Send this man to the curb and find one whom you can trust and would never do anything to hurt or disrespect you. you deserve it! - Alisa, Advice Columnist for "The Movement Within"
posted by Alisa on 1/18/2011

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