family advice (post new situation)
"Christmas Vacation"
To start off, my parents are divorced. Every year my dad tries to get me to go to Texas (a 15 hour drive) to see my step-mom's family. The problem is we ALWAYS leave on Christmas. I hate leaving my mom to go somewhere I don't want to be. How can I tell my dad 'no' without hurting his feelings?
posted by Meaghan on 12/16/2007 @10:04:31 PM •
I am going through a different but yet similar situation myself. My advice to you would be to do what makes you happy. However, I am finding it difficult to do that myself as I am afraid of upsetting family members. Is there any other time you could go to Texas?
posted by Jillian on 12/18/2007
I leave you the same advice I left Jillian: do what you feel is right for you. You may ruffle some feathers, but ultimately, it will hurt everyone involved a lot less than trying to pretend that you like what you are doing. You just can't force things when they don't exist. A holiday phone call or a card sent by mail lets them know that you don't hold anything against them, it's just not in your best interest to put everyone in that situation.
posted by Patrick on 12/20/2007
this christmas i decided to stay at my dads house and that meant that all of mums side of the family didnt get to see me. its the first time i did it and let me tell you they were dissapointed but i stick by my actions because i wasnt going to drive for an hr and a half and not be able to have drinks and chill out cause i have to come back 3 hrs later. everyone else stays over but I have to sleep on a proper bed because of an injury. Its really up to you and if its worth the consequesnces of dissapointment from either side. I have to say that you need to stand up for yourself. 15 hrs and leaving on christmas day puts you on boxing day for your stepp moms so if it were me i would probably say "dad you always take me away from mums on christmas day im starting to hate it im not coming with you if your leaving before I get some time to celebrate with my mom." It could work if you just come out with it. Parents are smart and they know how to manipulate you to their way of thinking but if you keep it simple and straight with the facts they cant argue and they most often dont have any reason not to compromise.
posted by Jessica on 12/29/2007

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