relationship advice (post new situation)
"Would you still love your gf/bf?"
My bf has been locked up since August, its been very hard on me. Well be a year in May.I visit him once a week. Sometimes it feels like if this is how it's going to be, that were going to be together while he is locked up, like if he isn't ever coming out even though he is. If just feels like he's not really here. He's coming out next month, but it feels like he isn't. I feel so alone without him. I stopped talking to my friends cause I'm so sad. He has a younger brother & he told me to watch him cause he is always getting into trouble. He got locked up a few times, so I started spending more time with him to keep him out of trouble cause I knew if he got locked up my bf would get mad at me cause he wants me to keep him out of trouble at any cost & that caused me to stress out so I decided to spend more time with him.

We would spend time, but weren't close. One day we were drinking & he got on me, I told him to get off cause he would regret it cause of his brother so he did. Another day we were playing around, wrestling cause he would always play like that, no without touching bad just wrestling around, but this time he bit my neck so I bit him & left him some marks, I did it to get him back for biting me & that was it. Later on he would play around with me & try to touch me sexually & I would get mad & tell him to stop. I even hit him a few times & he got upset so I told him I was sorry. Sometimes, he would touch me & I would get mad & he would to, but I don't know why when he was touching me. Weeks passed & we became closer & he told me he liked me & I told him he didn't that he just thought he did & he said no. I told him he was just sad cause his brother was locked up so he thought that, & he said I guess. During all this time we were very close, he would tell me everything sometimes he would cry in front of me so I try to comfort him by telling him I was there for him & he would do the same for me. When he had kicks backs he had them at a separate house his family was taking care of for some friends, all his friends would go to the house & they would spend the night. Me & him would sleep on the same bed cause it was big & cause I wasn't going to sleep with some other guy I dont know. He would try to touch me but I wouldnt let him I would move to the edge of the bed. He would get mad so I would let him hug me, that was it. I would hug him back cause I felt sad cause I missed my bf, but it was just a hug.I rather have him hug me then him touch me so I thought like that he would stop with the touching.

Another day we had a kick back & I drank some liquor. I used to drink but stopped, but that I day I decided to so I got a lil buzzed. Later I went to bed by myself and he came later, that day he put his hand inside my pants & I told him to stop & he wouldn't. He started kissing me & I would move but couldn't get him off. The whole time I was moving around, but he wouldn't stop, but then he stopped after awhile. He even said he loved me a few times, I said I didn't.

Then days passed & he would try touching me down there & I wouldn't let him. Sometimes he would touch himself in front of me & I would tell him to stop & he wouldn't. He would just laugh like it was funny so I just wouldn't look at him cause I didn't care as long as he left me alone. He would do this a lot like it was something normal & I told him that & he didn't seem to care. Then later on he would keep trying to touch me down there & I would tell him to stop. He would tell me to let him because he was doing it for me cause he said it must have been hard for me not having any sex so that he was doing it for me, but I still told him no & he would keep trying & would get him mad cause I wouldn't let him. He wouldn't talk to me & I would feel bad, I didn't want that cause if I wasn't around he would get into trouble, get locked up & my bf would get mad at me. I didn't know what to do. He told me its not like I'm putting my d*** so just let me. I got tired of him & let him a few times cause I also felt bad for him cause he would always spend time with me & keep me company & I was close to him & didn't want to stop talking to him. Also cause I alone cause I couldn't tell my bf anything cause I didn't want to worried while he was in there. Anyways mostly I would get mad at him & tell him not to touch me & he would get mad. I told him many times that I didn't like him to do that to me, but he would be all over me so I couldn't get him off & would just stop trying at times of frustration and to keep him happy. Then he would try to kiss me, but I would move he would bite my stomach & I would get mad so I would do it back. A few times I would kiss & lick his stomach to tickle him & so he would not touch me but I stopped & he wanted me to do it again but I didnt no more ever. The times I went along with him was cause I was confused and cause I felt lonely without my bf. It really hurts that he's not with me and I just need someone there and he was the closest to me. He leaves me alone now cause he finally listened to me when I said I didn't like all this cause before he would get really mad and I didn't like that cause it felt like I was alone cause he was the only one that showed he cared about me, but I guess not. I know its my fault to & I told him Im going to tell his brother, but he says I just want to put his brother against him but it's not true so he said if I did he would make up stuff to make me look worse. He even said he wants to have sex with me & I said that will never happen. I just want to get this off my chest & hope he forgives me cause I love him & he loves me but I'm scared to tell him. What should I do? I know I did a mistake and I won't ever do it again. Please help me! Thanks!
posted by Yesi on 3/16/2011 @11:42:18 PM •
* no advice has been shared.

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