family advice (post new situation)
"Child abuse "
First off I am sorry this is so long . My son has a 9 year old daughter. He and the mother were together for the first two years of her life. The mother has drinking issues and my son has a few arrests from about 5 and 11 years ago. They were computer crimes. One was as a minor. After they split he switched weekends with his daughters mother. Every time she came home she had some injury .One week he was not allowed to see her at all. When we did she her, her two top teeth were knocked out and her mouth was swollen and split. She had not even been seen by a dr. We called Child protective services. They came out after about a week and the mother said she fell into a radiator .She also had a slip showing she took her to the ER.It was dated the day my son saw her and made her go. So they did nothing. To save space I will not tell you the stories of each but 3 different police departments, 2 schools, one school called 4 times neighbors have all reported this woman for child abuse. They make recommendations but never do anything. About three years ago the mom refused to send her to school. She said if we wanted her to go to school she had to live with us. So she is. She went from a girl with many issues that couldnít even read at her age level to being in advanced classes, happy and loving. Last year an order of protection was issued against the mom and her new bf.
The case was handed over to the DA who gave a stern warning but didnít charge anything. The NC was lifted after a month and we were told she could start going back to the moms on the weekends. We didnít want to but the mom knows my son is on probation and threatens to hurt herself and claims he did it and then he will have to go back to jail. We know she will do it, she was angry at her mom once and tried to push her down a flight of steps but she fell instead. She called the police and had her mom arrested she had to serve time .So we know she will do it. Anyway about 8 months ago the mother went to slap my granddaughter across the face; she put her hands up to block her so the mom bites her. She bites her so hard she had blood running down her hand. This was in front of others. Family services were called in again and another no contact was ordered. It was also lifted after 3 weeks. This time a safety worker is involved. She is supposed to meet with the mom once a week and see my granddaughter over there as well to make sure she is safe and try to deal with why she is so angry at my granddaughter. The mom has missed more appts. then she has kept. In 8 months the mom has seen my GDD maybe 10 times. Each time there are injuries or one of the last time she called my granddaughter fat and said she was an evil B**** that ruined her life. That was Christmas. We have spoken to the safety worker several times all she says is she will talk to her. My son confided in the safety worker that he almost has enough money saved up to get his attorney to get full custody and placement. Within hours she told the mom what my son was planning. She advised the mom to go to the school in her district and register her daughter for next year, to get her a bed, and set it up so when the dad does go into court she can tell the judge the daughter is all set up. My granddaughterís mom and the safety worker have clearly bonded. The safety worker said her goal is to get the mom everything she needs so she can get her daughter back; I asked why is she doing this .My granddaughter is doing so well with my son. She replied well she is the mom. I asked her if she has looked at the numerous complaints to CPS or the over 30 arrests for violence, drugs, theft etc. ect. She said yes I saw some but the mom assures me she has changed.
She hasnít .The mom jokes about how all she has to do is cry and this safety worker will do whatever she wants, So far this worker got her dozens of bus passes, and then the mom said she didnít like taking the bus places so the safety worker approved taxis to take her around. The mom was kicked off welfare twice for welfare fraud. The safety worker made some calls and got her back on. My son is still paying child support and has been the entire time. The mom and her boyfriend have moved at least 20 times in three years. This last time they moved in January. The safety worker said the mom needed to start taking her daughter. She said I want to write a report that you are a good mom but I have to have dates. She told us we had to let her go. She said the new apartment was all set up. It turned out my granddaughter had to sleep on the floor because they only have 2 bedrooms .One for her and her BF and one for their son. My granddaughter doesnít even have a bed there .Not a stitch of clothing. They donít have a stove or a refrigerator. They had food in a box in the back yard. When we asked the safety worked if she knew that she said yes and she didnít appreciate us questioning her job. We also feel the safety worker sent a letter or requests to put my son hearing for custody on the back burner. We asked to speak to her supervisor and she said she already discussed it with her and she backs whatever she wants to do. We tried calling her but she wonít return our calls. The mom said the safety worker told her just because we have money and she doesnít isnít a reason to take her kid. We didnít take her and it has nothing to do with money it is abuse. I donít know what to do .This safety worker has resources we donít even know about. Any advice would be appreciated .There is so much more I donít have room to tell you. She tells the kids to walk out of stores with food, nail polish, socks. If they get stopped she will act like she didnít know they had the items. It goes on and on.
posted by Theresa on 3/24/2011 @3:57:36 AM •
* no advice has been shared.

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