relationship advice (post new situation)
Too make the story short My ex boyfriend slept with my what use to be my best friend and the sad part about it is that i saw them. I need help because im confused about forgiving them because i still love him n ive known her for a long time. the rest of the story is that i asked her to seduce him only!!!!!!!!! too see if he would cheat on me well it seems that she must have wanted to sleep with him in the first place cuz thats what happened. I was so shocked because i never thought that they woulod do this to me. It was a test to see if she was my best friend n if he was the right one 4 me to spend the rest of my life with. He had asked me to marry him and i wasnt sure. In a way i feel that it was my fault because i set the situation up and if i wouldnt have maybe this would have never happened. Now i dont know if this was the first time this had happened or the millionth!!!!!!!!!! see this happened around december and i left for vacation to Mexico to see if i would forget this horrible nightmare so i will never know what happened during that month i was gone. Weve been together for 3 years and ive known her for 5 years they both say they regret itand they seem very sincere with the way they say it and the way they act now. I still currently talk to them but not in the same way we use to and we dont all hang out anymore. If i even talk to one of them it always one or the otherby ouselfs. when this all happened my ex was about to commit suicide ( he never told me, what happened is that i found him in the process. I still love him and i till consider her like my sister. What should I do forgive them or not ?
posted by Netty on 2/7/2008 @4:58:27 PM •
Seems like you're in a tough situation. But, you did make a mistake setting that cheating skeme up. One, because a relationship is built on trust. And you should trust him. Two, because its wrong to test your best friend and your boyfriend against each other. He probably thought she was cute and so did she. And if you mingle with someone who you think is cute and when you "seduce" them .. it starts something. And you know, it ended up a big mess and they slept together. No, THATS not your fault. It was their decision to. But you can't be mad at them for it. Yes, it was wrong of them to. But it was your best friend. She would have never done that to you until you basically pushed her to. And same for the boyfriend. And no, If you've been together for 3 years and nothing happened.. pretty sure nothing WAS happening behind your back. Back to the trust thing, you should have trust in each other. Thats why me and my boyfriend of 4 years just broke up. Because he doesn't trust me. But anyway, you ask what to do. Forgive them or not. I say, you should. Because it wasn't fully their fault and they apparently mean a lot to you. Friends and people screw up and everyone deserves a second chance. So MY answer is yes.
posted by Lauren on 2/8/2008

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