relationship advice (post new situation)
"How many times is enough?"
My fiancÚ whom I have a child with is breaking his word again. He has mostly female friends and he seems to think that he must talk in a naughty mannor with them all the time. I asked him to stop and he promised no more, I caught him again and he again swore that it wasthe last time and he was done. I just found another convo this morning of him and a friend. He knows I check his messages, bic I tell him I do and he does not object. I wonder if I should give him another try or just tell him that we need a break, in order to let him suffer an see how horrible it would be to not be with me and his baby everyday, so then maybe he would learn his lesson and stop. So very confused!
posted by Cara (age 28) on 8/6/2011 @8:15:37 AM •
I have never been in your situation before, since I am only in college. So I'm not going to say I understand exactly what you are going through. However, I do know that my parents were in that exact same position, and are now happily married - still. They got through it by going to marriage counseling together and individually. I know that you're not married yet, but you can just call it "relationship counseling." If it doesn't fix itself through the counseling before you're married, don't go through with the marriage. Don't put yourself through that, only to end up divorcing him in a few years. You would not want to put the child through that. My uncle has a son, and the son has a mom. My uncle and the mom are not married. They had my cousin, and were all set to get married, when he discovered that - like your fiance - she was inappropriate with other men. They did not proceed with the marriage. My cousin and uncle are fine, and even talk with the mother sometimes. My uncle is actually friends with her. So, you see, by not going through with the marriage, you have nothing to lose and quite a bit to gain. Hope I helped. It's all your decision, though! If you know what you want to do, don't let me sway you.
posted by Lila (age 19) on 8/9/2011

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