relationship advice (post new situation)
 
 
"How Do I End This Lie?"
 
My friend/co-worker and I made "Fake" Facebook accounts 2 years ago so that we wouldn't have to add people we disliked from work to our real accounts and still be able to network and play games with them. We used pictures of celebrities for fun and sortve acted like they were us as a joke. People bought it somehow and it escalated from there. We started using pictures of two Italian girls and have made year long friends until these "fake" accounts. Of course we no longer have any co-workers added mind you. My friend has had boyfriends on there, told each other they love them, talk on the phone, share sex stories, have cyber sex, and phone sex. I have done it a little bit too but not as much as her. She has gotten addicted to this "game" to the point where she was on her phone so much at work that they warned her several times and have now banned phones from the building (and openly admitted it's her fault). She is also constantly in the internet communicating with these guys through email, and my boss says we are close to getting internet blocked too. The worst part of all is that she is 'happily' married with a husband of 27 years and a 20 year old daughter and they have a beautiful house, and everything to live the American Dream. It has bothered me for some time about what she's doing. Her husband has busted her with $500 phone bills and she somehow got him to believe that she was just calling Mafia Wars friends to chat about the game. I know she doesn't want to ruin her marriage but has been getting away with this "game" for so long (2 years now) that it's gotten out of control and she can't stop. I've tried talking to her and she just gets defensive, angry and sad. Makes me feel like an ass for bringing it up. In the meantime, I have been chatting with someone on MY fake account and never expected it to escalate as far as it has. I am completely in love with him and he doesn't even know who I am. I have been dying to tell him my secret and show him who I am. It's not a big deal to me, I am only 2 years older than my fake girl, I am single, and I am good looking (or so the guys tell me who know the real me lol) I am in a bad spot because her #1 "player" she is hooked up with in her game is friends with the guy who I have fallen for. So I can't just tell my guy because then he will tell her guy and it will bust her and she will hate me. I don't really care, but we work closely together and do not want to make it awkward for myself. She is a very grouchy and vocal person normally and being on her bad side would be very stressful. So I have some ideas.. I was thinking of busting myself or busting her.. as another fake account, unknown to her of course. I would log into this new account and post something on one of our walls with the Italian girls names and something about being fake and using this girl's photos. Then hopefully my guy would see it and I could then come clean.. The only thing that is bad about that is I want him to know that I intended to come clean with him.. How would we know I was ever going to tell my secret if I hadn't been "busted"? So I have been hinting at it lately and it's almost to the point where it's obvious to me and he is just so trusting he doesn't think it. I know I risk losing him if he is not attracted to me or if he is unable to trust me for living this lie with him for however long (a month or so of talking daily) but even if he walked away, I would feel so good knowing that I was open and honest. Everyone deserves the truth. And also I'd be happy knowing that I ended my friend's addiction before it ends her marriage. I have written this because no one knows. I am embarrassed to tell anyone I know in real life, out of shame for my friend especially, and for myself. What should I do??
 
posted by Helpless Romantic (age 27) on 11/15/2011 @9:39:55 AM •
 
* no advice has been shared.


 
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