life advice (post new situation)
 
 
"Graduate School"
 
I have for a long time suffered from severe anxiety and depression. Over the years I have made countless mistakes, especially when it comes to schooling. I panicked about assignments and missing class and felt I could not face going to class after being absent, so I wouldn't go, which made matters worse. My mom always dug me out of my problems and saved the day. I disrespected my parents a lot and not intentionally, but
By not attending classes that they were paying for. They saved my butt at community college for a year and then when I moved on for the next three years to another institution. And it was always the same thing with the anxiety. Making a mistake and then being unable to face it. Well I finally found my passion for social work and I really felt home and I succeeded in getting my bachelor's degree. I got accepted into graduate school full time as an advanced standing student so I would have my degree in one year. Well that one year should be this may. I did great last semester. Had a few ups and downs but pushed through and had awesome grades. So I don't know what happened this semester. I just fell on my face. Missed some assignments, missed class. And now 8 week from the end of the semester I am trying to do damage control but ultimately have to withdrawal from two courses but the other three my professors are working me through. So the advice I need... I don't know. I have to go home and face my parents. I feel so ashamed
And like a sorry excuse for a human being. I messed up like this so many times. When do I change, when do I learn. I love social work but have just been feeling so lost and depressed and don't know what to do with
My life. But I didn't want to throw this away. My parents are fronting me some money for my graduate degree and here once again I messed up. I may be able to get some refund if I have medical documentation and with all my anxiety it is possible. But how do I tell my parents. I love
them so much. I didn't want to mess up but once I miss one thing the ball just rolls out of control. I am going to be 23 years old. There must
Be something wrong with me for me to act like this. I love social work. I want my masters degree. So why does it always seem Im not cut out for it at times. My family was so proud I would have my MSW in a year. And now I face disappointment and humiliation. And I don't know what words or feelings I am looking for to explain to them. It is too late to go back
And change the past. But I don't want to be like this. I hate myself and hate the thought of seeing their faces or them yelling at me. Where do I go from here. How do I right my wrongs. ;(
 
posted by Bri (age 22) on 3/27/2012 @9:52:57 AM •
 
* no advice has been shared.


 
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