relationship advice (post new situation)
I have been seeing this man for 6 months. we got close real quick. i use to stay on weekends at his home. i have now been there 6 weeks straight. everytime i tell him i need to go home he gets upset saying things like u had enough and u hate me. his kids are there 2 weekends a month and on tuesdays he uses them to have me stay like they need u here they want you here they will starve. i need your help. I told him i loved him and he said dont say that it ruimns things. then a day later he said ya know i love u. you are very important to me. we both had bad relationships and he doesnt like feelings. i am starting to think he is using me. thats what happen in my past. so i dont know if i should walk away. he is 51 i 45
posted by Elizabeth (age 45) on 10/8/2012 @1:12:36 PM •
this borders on kidnapping. do you keep in touch with friends?Do you have a job? You have a house that you are responsible for and enjoy being at if he does not let you go home (by yourself that is) you need to think about getting away from this control freak ASAP. The fact that he won't allow you to have your own life is indicative of why he is divorced in the first place (if he is). He has major abandonment issues that can only be fixed with some major counseling with a professional. but for your own safety and peace of mind, get out and change your locks!
posted by susan (age 47) on 10/18/2012
He is a controller. The fact that you "got close real quick" is the first sign of someone that has a controlling personality. He doesn't want you to leave because he can't control you when you are away from him. The next step is he will want you to not spend time with your friends and family so that he will be the only person in your world. He wants you to become totally dependent on him so he can control your entire life. The fact that he uses his kids to control you emotionally is ridiculous. the kids have a mother that they spend most of their time with, and that is how it should be. You know in your heart that he is just using you and you need to get out and never look back because you deserve so much more. He will try to lay guilt trips and bring the kids in to it. Cut all ties, block his number and tell your boss at work that you are afraid of this guy. I have seen this kind of behavior and it can be dangerous!
posted by Katherine on 10/22/2012

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