other advice (post new situation)
"I have been having very bad thoughts.."
and considering suicide… IDK whom to go to… I cant ask my best fried or family for advice… Everything just seems so our of the norm for me rite now… I feel lost… I care bout nothihng at this point.. I came across this site just by coincedence… being unknown.. feels better.. yet… I feel someone should know what I am going thru… Ive heard it all.. or so I think.. maybe not… Im depressed.. I feel alone.. I feel so insignificant.. I feel like a failure.. A mother that did everthing wrong… a daughter that failer her own Mother… a sister whom is nothing but worthless in the eyes of her only siblings… a friend that is only a “friend” when its suitable to others… I hate my job.. I dread it each morning.. I love all the children that are in my life.. I enjoy each minute I spend with them… I see their faces and it stalls me…. then I think of all the other negatives in my life n its overpowering me….. I have about 60 vicodins sitting here on my desk… and Im willing to take em all… I know what the consequences will be…. but… is there a solution?? what can some stranger possibly tell me to change my mind??? that things will get better?? that we all have our rough moments.?? our ups and downs?? … I lost two very loved friends like this…. and I managed to overcome their loss… and then I also saw the Hypocricy in it…. All those so called friends and family were there to show their respect and sum sore of love for them… yet they never showed it in life…. is that gonna happen to me?? Will ALL those that claim to be my loved one be there after the fact??? why do ppl do that?? why do they care after u are gone?? but what about when u are shouting without a sound coming out of ur mouth.. no one can hear you??? I am ready and willing to go… I have no regrets for I have loved those in my life.. those whom are strangers.. Ived given all Ive got.. yet nothing feels rite…. some insight would be helpful.. than u in advance…
posted by gina on 1/4/2013 @4:54:28 AM •
I dunno what's worse: the fact that you feel like this, or the fact that no one has responded to you yet. I only hope I'm not too late in replying. But if I'm not too late, I will say this right now: DON'T DO IT. Lemme tell you a story. When I was about 10, my mom had attempted suicide, probably feeling pretty close to what you're feeling now, or have been feeling for a while. I haven't lived with her since, and neither have my sisters. I imagine that ranks up there among her biggest regrets. It pains her whenever she's reminded that in the eyes of the law, she's no longer our mother. So I'll say this: USE YOUR KIDS. USE EVERY CHILD IN YOUR LIFE. When you feel lonely, and a failure, and worthless, and insignificant, and whatever else you may feel, always remember the children in your life. Hold on to that, and let it tether you to keep pushing on. I still don't know how this site works (I just happened upon it, too), but if you need me, my email is cjimmy217~AT~****. You're not alone in this. I only hope I'm not too late.
posted by Chris (age 18) on 2/7/2013

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