family advice (post new situation)
"Should I take the car back?"
I have a 20 year old daughter whom I love dearly, but who is very lost right now. Last Sept,(2012) she broke w/ her fiance and moved back home. She started seeing another guy within 2 weeks. Within a month she'd moved out and in with the new guy. They've moved approx 7 times to different locations within 7 months. They've almost broken up multiple times. This guy was without a job for approx 3 months. He has no vehicle and uses hers all the time. Well, the vehicle is mine. AND that brings me to my delimma.
I bought this current veh for her when the engine in the last vehicle I bought her died. (due to her not taking care of it). The prev. car is sitting in my driveway and I'm still making car payments and paying insurance on it. In an effort to help her get to work and restart her life last Sept when she came home, I borrowed money on my credit card to buy the current vehicle she is driving. She has NOT been paying as agreed and now with where they've moved yet again to (an hour away) it is being driving a LOT. Oh, she is also now pregnant and just quit her job. So, she stays home and he takes the vehicle to work ....leaving her there alone because they don't have the gas money for her to take him to work and go back home. So, it basically feels like I've bought HIM a vehicle. My worry is that I can't afford for this car to break down. And what if he wrecks it?? He is a very controlling guy and doesn't like me because my daughter & I are very close. So my fear is that he might do something to the car. I've told my daughter if he will pay off the balance (less than 3k), I'll gladly sign it over and they can keep it. I just feel like there is a liability factor with him driving "my" vehicle. Neither he or my daughter understand how this has stressed me out. I'm already paying for one car that isn't running... I can't take a chance on something happening to this one.

My question is: Am I wrong to take the vehicle back if he won't pay for it? Will my daughter hate me if I do that? They have no other transportation.. and I don't know what this will do to them. My only concern is her. I mean, she is pregnant now and I don't want to hurt her... but this is my financial well being. I've enable her her whole life prob because her Dad's not been involved. (we're divorced 11 years now). She thinks I'm being unreasonable with the car. I think she's be ungrateful at all I've done for her. That aside, I'm losing sleep over this. My friends all say go get that vehicle now!! I'm so confused!!!

I need some impartial advice. Thanks!
posted by Susan (age 50) on 4/8/2013 @9:06:34 AM •
Just tell them to start paying in installments and if they dont give them time and then u will have to go and get it back
posted by Anon on 4/9/2013

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