relationship advice (post new situation)
 
 
"cheating"
 
I have been married for over 18 years with on again off again problems and 2 kids together. We were separated for a while & he was coming back asking if we could try marriage counseling again & work on our relationship. I had reluctantly agreed. We had gone to 2 counseling sessions & things were starting to get a little better. He was almost moved back in, staying overnight a few nights a week. We had even went to a family party together. The next night he is late home from work. I call him & could tell he had been drinking so I did not continue the conversation. He called back, got my voicemail & tells me he is on his way home. He forgot to hang up & there was another woman in his car. I proceeded to listed to him kiss, grope & discuss what hotel they should go to. It was a woman he works with. Needless to say I was devastated. He continues to tell me how he was not living at home. He states he did not have sex with her, some ED problems. I honestly do not think he considers what he did as cheating. I do! In my opinion he was trying to work on our marriage & being with another woman in a hotel room overnight, whether you had sex or not is just a technicality. The intent was there.

I feel we have to be civil for the children. We do speak & he does come over on the weekends. At times he will call me & I will return his calls. When I call him at work, the girl he was with answers the phone. I so want to say something to her as I feel there is more to this. What is your advice?
 
posted by Karen (age 47) on 10/1/2013 @11:24:16 AM •
 
Difficult situation there. I am glad your managing to be civil for the children. I think you should say something to her. Likely he has lied to her, too. Although you probably hate her, try to talk to her like a rational human being, and as if you are on the same side. You'll probably learn more that way. Also, you should look at my question and see if you have any advice for me! It is posted right above yours.
 
posted by Tiffany (age 25) on 10/7/2013
 


 
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