relationship advice (post new situation)
I have been in the same exclusive relationship for almost 7 years. We have a 5 year old and an almost 2 year old. I am sick and tired and have been for a long time. I feel trapped. The only reason I don't leave is guilt for taking away the kids. We are broke. I don't have a car or babysitter (even though we live with his mom) and so I can't work. Any ideas I have on improving our life for the better is blown off and I am told to just trust him. My patience is running out. He's a good man, loyal and sentimental. But he's also a procrastinator, has a temper, is very stubborn, and he hates change. I think he wants to live with his mom forever. My family is in another state and I miss them. If I were to leave, I could work, have a babysitter, go to college and instead of being completely dependent on someone else to provide for my kids, I could do it myself. I know I can do it, I am embrace change and have big dreams and believe if I make the effort I can meet those dreams. It's not just money, but the fact that we are actually under the poverty level for a family of 4 is not working to his advantage. I'm tired of talk with no action. Plus, I'm not in love with him. I love him, I pity him, but I am not in love with him. I'm afraid to leave, because of how much it would hurt him. Plus, I can't tell him before I go, because I can't let the kids see that fight and there is no one to make sure they don't see it here. Plus, I would be stuck here with no where else to go after the fight, and how could I continue to stay in the same house with him, his mom, and his sister next door after that? But I don't think it is legal to just up and move with your kids away from their father to a different state. I have tried talking to him about moving together so I can work, but he refuses to hear it. What do I do? I don't want to hurt him, but I can't live like this for the rest of my life. If I leave, I want to do it while my kids are young, so it will hurt them less. I have given up on them ever being able to participate in extra-curricular activities, getting a vehicle, or paying for college while he's the one in charge. We pay $50 a week on groceries for a family of 4, unless a family member (his mom or mine) hands over a little money to give us more. The kids get enough food but not healthy. I basically live on eggs and potatoes. The other day my son went next door, and came home saying how much food they had next door. It broke my heart. My dad was like that, and I do not ever want my kids to be hungry like I was. My bf refuses to get any kind of government assistance, (and because I don't have a car or anyone willing to take me to the office, I can't get it either) but he is willing to mooch off of our families. We don't get enough from our families and his income to make it. I am so frustrated and I need some unbiased opinions. P.S: I didn't even get started on his mom, who hates me because I am not submissive enough, which is something considering I put up with all this for so long, giving so many chances.
posted by Tiffany (age 25) on 10/7/2013 @3:13:29 PM •
* no advice has been shared.

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