relationship advice (post new situation)
"Dealing with Girlfriend 's Ex boyfriend"
Hello I need advice on my current relationship with my fiancÚ. I love her and want very much to marry her; however there is a current situation that is causing me to feel very uneasy about our relationship.

She has a "friend" who used to be her ex boyfriend who sends her texts late at night saying "I love you", "I want to kiss you goodnight", "I think about you all the time". Sends her chocalotes, lingerie and number of other romantic gestures. It is not bothering me that he is doing these things but is bothering me on how she is handling it. She seems to like the attention and tells me he just a friend and a closet gay person, but he is not gay. They flirt with each other even in my presence. Her hand on his knee. Most of all, she invites him to stay the night with her while I am not there, and he has on numerous occasions. She told me to trust her and nothing happened and reiterated they are just friends. I do trust her and love her very much. They were going to go on a trip together, but I told her that was not acceptable. She admitted he has a crush on her and she would nip it in the bud. However, most recently, he stayed a couple of nights with her and did not tell me about it until I asked about it.

She told me I am being jelous, and I have never had to deal with this sort of thing in my previous relationship so I am unsure if I am overreacting, but something does not feel right. I intend to talk to her again, but I know she will just I am being jelous and asking her to choose between me and her "best friend." I received advice in the past that she needs to make it clear to this guy he is just a friend but I feel she is leading him on to get some attention. Like I said I believe her when she tells me there is nothing sexual between them. I love her and don't want to lose her but she is not nipping this in the bud and we're getting married soon. He is still pursuing her in a romantic way and she says he will get over it after we are married.

She has a lot of other ex boyfriend s who are now friends and I have no problem with that. They are involved in relationships and are not pursuing her romantically and certainly not spending the night with her.

So am I just being jealous and just trust her to handle this guy on her own or do I need to continue to tell her she needs to stop leading him on and they need to be friends who don't spend the night with each other? I am not a jealous person but this is bothering a great deal.
posted by D on 2/13/2014 @4:50:48 PM •
* no advice has been shared.

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