life advice (post new situation)
 
 
"I need real work from home"
 
I need some advise on a 'real idea' for how to make money from my home. I am in a particularly difficult life situation right now and I think that making money from home is going to be the only way that I can help myself. If anyone has any advise then please let me know. I will tell my story to make things more clear.

I am a 43 year old female and I have been a house wife all of my life so I have no college education or work history. I recently divorced my husband of 26 years. He is not a bad man, he just did not prefer the company of women and I wanted more than just a friendship only relationship. In fact the relationship soured to the point where there was not even a friendship in the end and that is sad indeed but I guess that is how these things work out sometimes. We always knew that we would divorce when our children were grown and we stayed married as friends only. So when our youngest turned 18, we divorced. We did it ourselves at the court house for cheap with no attorney and no problems. I took no alimony, no nothing except for my freedom.

During the process of our divorcing I met a man whom I fell in love with. There was no illicit affair between us. No sex, it was truly a relationship based on the right reasons. He also was in the process of getting a divorce, or so he said. We did end up moving in together one year and one month ago and we live in a remote part of Washington State. Our back yard borders a huge logging forest and when we look around outside of our home, we don't see our neighbors. We are also 12 miles outside of the nearest small town and 30 miles outside of a 'real' town. The roads are windy and tree lined, so they are dangerous to walk on and the distance for walking is too great anyway to walk into town. I don't have a car, I don't have a job, I don't have a bank account and in fact I have no assets of any kind. I also have no parents, no friends and no more family left, all are now deceased. I do have my two children who love me very much but they are young and in no position to take me in. Otherwise they would!

Shortly after moving in together, I became pregnant. I lost the baby once early on and then became pregnant again and now I am almost full term. I have no medical insurance and I didn't qualify for Medicaid because I am living with my boyfriend and they count his income even though he is still married and his income is going to his many bills with his wife. So in other words, I qualify for nothing and I have had no medical care from a doctor. I would like to add though that I am experienced in Midwifery, so I know enough to feel confident that I don't need to see a doctor and honestly I really don't like hospitals and I would feel more comfortable having my baby at home anyway. I am not a licensed Midwife, I am a Lay Midwife and for those of you who do not know what that means, that means that I have the knowledge just not the formal education and the license to practice on other people legally. I have assisted other women in the past and have studied a great deal into Midwifery but I have never made money from it.

So here is my problem. My boyfriend has not gotten a divorce and it has been one year and one month since we moved in together. There are many excuses and I have even gone right to the source and talked to his wife very nicely to find out her side of things and why she won't divorce him. She told me that she has no intentions of divorcing him. She wants his retirement and his medical insurance that his employer provides. She does not mind my living with him, but she won't divorce him the nice and easy way like my ex husband and I did.

I have talked to my boyfriend MANY times and I have tried to explain to him the fact that I don't have any security in our relationship. I have flat out told him that he needs to make some sort of motions to at least start the divorce process but he won't. He seems to be scared of his wife to even discuss it with her. Already his wife has ran up debts that he has to pay and she runs up medical expenses that so far have been covered under his insurance but that will certainly not be the case forever. In the meantime I have no medical insurance and no real security of any kind. Our house is a rent to own and in under one year it will convert to a traditional mortgage and at that time she can divorce him and take our house. (This seems to be her goal) This is not something that I can live with.

Also my boyfriend has been chatting with other women on the internet which I have discussed with him in the past and he always says that he is just talking to friends that way. Okay, I am fine with that but I also just found out that he has a brand new video chat program on his Smartphone because his phone will pop up with these messages regarding a particular lady who leaves him video phone messages. And this particular lady is one who used to try to call his phone a lot and he told me that she was someone who he was involved with sexually in an online only relationship before he met me, but that he does not like her and he has been trying to get her to leave him alone.

I have never gone through his phone and I don't want to do that. When I have a question I go directly to him about it, I don't rummage through his things. But I am smart and I am also 43 and not a young naive girl who does not know how the world works. I do love him very much and I feel that he also loves me also and that we are happy together. That really should be enough but as a responsible adult I have to look at the larger picture. He is talking to other women, he is now video chatting with at least one woman whom he is obviously not trying to get rid of and he refuses to get a divorce. I on the other hand am going to have a child and I need to think about the future of that child.

I would also like to say that I have discussed our child with him many times from the beginning of my pregnancy and I have told him that if he does not want the responsibility for the baby that we could adopt it out or else I could raise it on my own? He says that he wants the baby and that he loves the both of us. So I have been nice about this and I have given him many opportunities to opt out.



I need to find a way to make some money from my home so that I can make a better life for myself and my child. I do love my boyfriend and I would like him to stay a permanent part in my life but I absolutely cannot live with a married man. Marriage is more than a piece of paper, it is a legal document that will always keep him paying for his wife's debts and provide for her medical care and security while my needs are neglected. He says that he loves me and that I am first in his life but if that were true then he would put an effort into ending his old relationship so that he can provide for his new one.

My goal is to move into the city and rent a small place to live and get a job, so that I can take care of myself and my child. In order to do that, I need some savings first. I am hoping to obtain that savings from a job that will allow me to make money from my home? Does anyone know how I can find a 'real job' from my home with no work experience? I am not looking for big money, just something more than surveys which is what I am doing now. Plus surveys only pay in Amazon Gift Cards so $60.00 a month max in Amazon Cards is not really getting me anywhere. :) If anyone has any real advice then please let me know. Any real ideas are appreciated. I also need to add that we don't have a telephone, so it needs to be internet based. Thank you so much for any advice that you can give me.
 
posted by Jane (age 43) on 6/9/2014 @1:11:41 PM •
 
* no advice has been shared.


 
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