life advice (post new situation)
 
 
"the twilght zone"
 
ive dated this grl for six months and realy thought I loved her maybe that was a na´ve idea seeing asthough im only 22 but ive always belived that love transcends age, or time. we recently broke up after her having an abortion inwich I was in the dark about for two months she said she wanted to save me grief which might have been true I had to basically pull the info from her because she was acting very different which lead me to believe that things weren't okay she wouldn't talk to me about the situation when she told me in the car I admit I cried we were in front of my house and she was saying it was her body her mistake and that she would take care of it herself and while I was trying to understand idk just asking questioning she just seemed like she didn't wanna be there and kept asking me can I go no can I go she just wouldn't talk to me so I talked to so mutual friends of ours a guy and girl and I said some mean things about her to some mutual friends I called her selfish, immature I said that I felt like she was killing my kid and I said I could find anthor girl, but I also stated positive things nonetheless what I said was never supposed to get back to her but it did I said those things out of confusion I was hurt because she shut me out I said this after she said I couldn't attend the ultrasound. when she found this out she broke up with me we also work together which makes things even more difficult at first when I found out she was pregnant I was afraid and I wasn't sure of what was right but after thinking about I believed that the child had the right to live and that I shouldn't have been taken away because of our irresponsibility when I looked at her, someone I loved and to think there was a life within her she looked so like so much more to me I blame the whole situation on myself my father always told me no matter what a girl says always use protection, and when I found out I should've told my parents so an educated desiscion could have been made within the situation weather it would've been abortion or not. instead of this which I feel was made out of embarrassment and fear. I just wanted to be there for her I believe that thinking and feeling that way was also selfish on my part. I feel asthough the baby was never given the respect it should've been given the baby was aborted she never even told me when it was done but I knew the date may 30th she worked the next day and was signing and dancing at work while taking selfies, and I felt so bad that if someone touched me I would just cry maybe I was being a **** thinking to much into the situation im not sure. now we are no longer together and that's fine but during every idle second of my life I think of the baby and her, I ask myself am I a bad person, they say everything happens for a reason but I don't see a significant reason here yeah obviously one should always be protected until they are ready, but that seems too shallow there must be more to it ive talked to a couple counselors they say it was good that was wiling to be there but if she didn't want me there than there's nothing I can do. but I don't believe shes a bad person and I can understand the choice she made even though it hurts I just cannot fathom why she cut me out totally and gave me no say tho I do understand it is her temple and ultimately her decision ive come here in hopes someone out there has been through something similar and can give a word of advice you can be as honest as you want I believe the more honesty I can receive the better
 
posted by mickey (age 22) on 6/28/2014 @7:51:41 PM •
 
* no advice has been shared.


 
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