family advice (post new situation)
"should i keep trying?"

I am looking for advice. I have a four month old son and his father has been heavily addicted to drugs for about 15 years. Mainly cocaine but also pills, marijuana, alcohol. I honestly don't even really know. I've known all along he was using drugs and threatened to leave him countless times but never did. I love him. But sometimes I wonder if I even really know him because he's been using drugs our whole relationship. He lies, and stays out and is generally unrealiable and not trustworthy. Now, he is in jail for breaking and entering a business he tried to rob so that he could buy drugs after he lost his job. Since he has been in jail, obviously he is sober. He is remorseful and is begging me to stay with him and for us to remain a family. I know that he loves his son and has been a good father despite his shortcomings. He is always kind and gentle and loving towards us. But when I look at the facts it seems so glaringly obvious that I should leave him. He says he will do whatever it takes to keep us. But I don't know if his word is enough anymore. I don't know how many chances to give a person to change. His drug use is more than just a party lifestyle. It has ruined so many things for him. I feel like if you tell someone you love them and create a family with them you shouldn't turn your back on them when they are asking for help. But I also don't want to waste any more of my time or my sons life if this is the road we are going to be on.. I don't even know what my question is but if anyone has any thoughts I'd love to hear them. Thank you.
posted by Brenda (age 30) on 9/7/2014 @3:13:58 PM •
The thing I worry about the most: sons like to emulate their fathers. Whatever their dad likes, whatever their dad does, whatever respect their dad gives their mom and family... that's what they want to do. Whether he stops or you go, in my opinion, a son needs a good example.
posted by jon (age 39) on 9/8/2014
Been there. I was a single mom with his 2month old. He went to prison for 10.5 months. I had to find a job. The only day off I had,I and the baby went every weekend to see him. Even got in a accident, went off the road and had 37 stitches on my. Forhead. He doesn't appreciate anything.8 yrs later he want to. Leave me. Plus DHS took our child.
posted by Kim (age 40) on 9/20/2014

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