relationship advice (post new situation)
"Should I break up with my bf"
we have been together for six moths now and he's already put me through so much hell!
we started out as roommates and for the first two month that's all we were. we really clicked so he asked me out and then we started dating.

Within the first month of dating I walked in on him smoking a pill I of course freaked out and then he insured me that his back was hurting so he was just taking medicine and he doesn't like swallowing pills so he smokes them. I stupidly believed him.

Two months into dating I he disappears and his family and friends are calling me asking where he is I grew worried and called his job only to find out that he was fired from his job and never told me. He ended up returning the next day and I asked him about the job and he tried to lie about it until I told him I knew. Later that week his car was taken because I guess he stopped making payments on his car because he didn't have the funds.

In the third month I come home with a surprise drug test to see if he would pass. When I showed it to him he started freaking out on me and then admitted he's addicted to Roxicodone but he was going to stop right that minute. I stupidly believed that too.

In the fourth month I get a message from my bank saying my bank account is over drawn and came home to my two designer bags stolen come to find out my boyfriend had stole my bags to trade in for drugs and he stole my credit card. At this point I temporarily moved back in with my parents and broke up with him.

A week later he contacted me saying how sorry he was and that his parents made him move back in with them so they could keep an eye on him so I could move back into the apartment. So I moved back into the apartment and rent was due I asked him for his share and he said he would have it the next day. The next day came and still no money. His mom then called me and told me that he wont be able to afford rent anymore. The apartment then turned into an eviction. He offered me to stay with him and his parents and said hes going to go through outpatient rehab. I accepted the offer.

The fifth month into our relationship I told him living with his parents is only temporarily until we can pay off the apartment bills and get back on our feet. I randomly drugged tested him and he passed which was good but he still was jobless, carless, and living at home! He also never started rehab like he said he would but I thought it was okay since he passed the test. Then since his parents wouldn't help him with money he pawned my computer with out asking to pay his speeding ticket. He then asked me for 400$ to pay his warrant. I gave it to him and he showed me the receipt but at this point I just felt like he was mooching off of me because he would ask me to buy him fast food and stuff.

Then two days ago he found a one day a week job as a dishwasher at a restaurant. I was proud of him! so last night after grilling him I found out that his best friend who is a drug addict is in town and wanted to hangout with him. The part that bothers me most is it took me 2 hours of questioning him to find this out. Then last night me preparing for my two exams I pull an all nighter he wakes up and ask to borrow my car because he starts his job today and wants to get some stuff before his shift starts. I foolishly say yes only if he can be back before I have to go to school to take my exam. he said yes.. Well its now been 6 hours I missed both my exams and have to drop my classes because theres no way of passing the classes without taking the exam all because my boyfriend has my car and still hasn't came back.

With this said should Is this a good enough reason to call it quits on this relationship?
Its sounds like an easy question but every night he tells me how grateful he is to have me and we get along so perfectly but I don't know if that's enough to stay with him.
posted by Nikki (age 19) on 9/29/2014 @5:40:23 PM •
Hello Sweetie,

I can understand how you feel because I'm that savior type that hangs on to my boyfriend/husband. I ended up marrying two drug addicts and I feel like I wasted my life. I have two kids and no husband and it really affects me till this day. My first husband was 31 and I was around your age, I was 22. Being and enabler, I can tell you is so hard! They end up finding other girls that will use with them or take off. So now, your going through hell and they could be cheating on you as well.

I'm not saying he is or will. But, then like and idiot, I did the whole savior thing again, having brothers in and out of prison, plus a associates in criminal justice, I fell for another one. He is 38 and such a friggen selfish loser that is all about himself. It's hard when u like the bad boys. But, here I am sitting here after he took off on me. All the money I gave him, plus letters when he was in jail. But noooo, they will just run to whoever. It's not the person per say, but the nature of the beast of addiction. Addiction is an extremely selfish lifestyle. So, unless he goes to 12 Step Meetings and is serious about recovery, You are in for quite the unpleasant ride, I'm sorry. There is one step of recovery that deals with making amends to the people he has hurt. Addiction is a symptom to and underlying cause and the tip of the iceberg. The iceberg is what needs to be addressed as well as the physical aspect. Opiate addiction is horrible. I'm sorry you are going through this. Don't waste 20 years like I did. I hope this helps and god bless you and your boyfriend. Prayer does help, best wishes to you.
posted by BL7771 (age 40) on 11/4/2014

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