relationship advice (post new situation)
 
 
"I don't know if he's happy"
 
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. We were perfect together and never fought. But recently we have been fighting a lot. He always wants to be with his friends rather than me. And then when he's by me he doesn't seem happy. I've asked him about it and he says he just wants to be with both. I understand that but I still feel like he's unhappy with me and idk what to do. He's also told me before he would never breakup with me because he couldn't do that to me. We are also in high school and I don't want him to waste his time on something he's not happy with.
 
posted by Kati (age 17) on 2/15/2015 @11:49:26 AM •
 
If he's staying with you because he "couldn't do that to you," he probably thinks a lot of himself--of his value as a boyfriend--and not so much as you, as a smart and independent girl who can deal with her emotions.

Whether or not this feels true to you, you should tell him that if he needs to move on, you can move on, too--you can get along perfectly well without him. (And whether or not that feels true, it /is/ true. Breakups suck, but they aren't the worst thing in the world.)

Don't get into the mindset that breaking up is some kind of defeat. If you were perfect for a year together, that's a victory. If you can talk it out and get back to that place where the relationship is giving you both what you need, that's great. But if you break it off because things aren't working so well anymore, that's a victory too.
 
posted by Matt on 2/28/2015
 
He's most likely just having a problem with expressing himself. Don't take it personal. You have to think about the pressure that he's probably having between school and planning for later life. You should just try to have a casual conversation with him to see what's going on. That should help you in deciding what you're going to do. I wish you the best♥♥♥
 
posted by princess (age 16) on 3/29/2015
 


 
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