relationship advice (post new situation)
"Broke His Heart/Was Depressed"
Hi. I have an interesting situation and a long story.
I have had depression since the 5th grade. I started taking medicine for it in the 11th grade when I started self harming. During that year, I started dating a guy who was also depressed and not taking medicine. We dated for about 10 months before the rest of this story happened.
I became an alcoholic and started smoking as my depression didn't get any better. My ex was very against drinking and we broke up not soon after I started drinking. But that only lasted the summer before we got back together. He was in my same classes and the sparks were still there so we couldn't resist But I couldn't stop drinking.
Now during all of this, we are both depressed so it's very hard for us to support each other. Every time I drank, he just got upset and I was hurting him. I hated that, but I didn't know how to fix myself while I was trying to fix him and thats why I kept drinking.
So, by the end of my senior year, I broke up with him again, and this time, I intended to stay that way for his benefit. I still wanted to date him, so I decided to distract myself by "falling in love" with another person.
I dated an older man and practically tricked/forced myself into loving him. That was 10 months ago. And I now have a little girl from that relationship and after he found out, he left me of course. So I've been alone for 9 months with just my thoughts.
ALRIGHT! Now to the actual question.
Since I got out of the hospital with my gorgeous little one, I've had a lot of alone, thinking time. And I can't get my ex out of my head. I am no longer depressed, no longer alcoholic, and no longer smoking or self harming. I got out of all of that for my daughter. My friends tell me that my ex is still depressed and a lot of that is probably my fault for "abandoning him". But he refuses to talk to me let explain why I broke up with him. He blocked me on every platform, including phone, and runs in the other direction when he sees me coming.
I want to explain why I broke up with him and why I immediately moved to another person. I know it's no excuse, but I feel he deserves an explanation. Not to mention, I still care for him a bit more than a friend. And I am no longer depressed, so it won't be like we are pulling each other down. I might (key word, might) be able to help him out of his depression now, and he is even taking medication.
What should I do? And how would I get him to hear me out?
posted by Gem (age 19) on 5/27/2015 @3:04:28 PM •
if you two are ever in the same place (grocery store, school, etc) you could try to use the loud speaker and talk to him like that. it's all up to you and the amount of courage you have. which I'm sure you are very brave. he will hear your thoughts. I hope this helps if you try it. it'll all work out for the better. I promise
posted by hannah on 7/13/2015

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