relationship advice (post new situation)
"Stuck in the Middle" I'm at the very end of my pregnancy and it has been a VERY rough one.
A few weeks back my current boyfriend (father of this baby) and I got into a huge argument. We both said very heated things and the conversation ended with comments about custody in court. He also told me to not come to him and bother him when I needed anything. Now normally that comment wouldn't mean much to others but I haven't worked for months during this pregnancy because he paid ALL my bills. We decided that as a couple when I started getting sick in the pregnancy.
Needless to say he didnt contact me for almost 3 weeks.
I struggled to try to stay afloat...cried...stressed myself out...had no money....bills went unpaid and I still had to keep my composure for my 4 year old.
Now, in between all that chaos my ex (father of my 4 yr old) saw that I had been dumped, knows that I have no family and friends, and that with this pregnancy I needed help. He stayed over one night, brought me groceries, helped me clean, did laundry, and literally helped me for a few days.
Now, I had heard about dad #2 getting an attorney and wanting nothing to do with me (spoke with his sister).
So, me being broke knew it would be better to try to settle outside of court by being level headed and reasonable. Long story short, I text #2 that I would be willing to cooperate objectively for our newborn and for him to please meet with me.
At that meeting, in a nutshell he apologized, wants to try again, and is sincerely trying to make up for walking out. However, he knows my ex was back in the picture trying to help me and hes super upset.
My four year olds father now feels duped and goes back and forth between being nice to me and still trying to help me and popping off mean comments. He hates my boyfriend and my boyfriend hates him.
Dad #2 now wants me to cut ties with dad #1 besides for my son. I've tried to tell dad #1 that while I do appreciate his help he needs to back off except for helping me with our son. Hes angry bc he obviously got the wrong idea.
I dont want to be a jerk completely to number #1 bc he helped me a little when I really needed it but #2 and I are having our son in a week and retrying our relationship.
Im stuck in the middle and no matter which way I go I feel that there will be TONS of drama.
I would like to know how to stand my ground effectively but gently let #1 know he has the wrong idea and that he needs to just cooperate for our sons sake platonically (he keeps trying to hug me...etc).
Background history: #1 is a very violent person, uses our son as a tool, and I went through hell and back with him during the court custody battle with him over my 4 year old son.
Dad number 1 says he does not want our 4 year old around my dad #2 and my dad #2 does not want our newborn once here around dad #1....
I am so lost as to how to handle things because its a HUGE mess....#1 will throw a fit!
I want to try to maintain some sort of peace because #2 and I will be together and #1 and I see each other frequently since we have joint custody......

posted by InAMess (age 25) on 9/4/2015 @10:38:49 AM •
* no advice has been shared.

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