relationship advice (post new situation)
 
 
"Am I being used"
 
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 years now. Of course we have had our issues and worked things out but now I do not believe we will be together forever. See he is getting ready to graduate college this semester and I graduate next semester. In Jan of this year we both decided to lease a car to make it easier to commute since his car kept acting up and I really needed a car since I did not have one. The plan was I was first going to just buy a use car something I could afford but we did not end up doing that. Honestly, I feel like he sold me a dream. Okay so we decided to go down south one weekend and buy a car for me. He pretty much told me when we got down south that he will do it together and just buy a brand new car off the lot so we would not go through what we went through with his car. Now we for applied for a 2015 Hyundai together and got denied because of his prior car repo he had on his credit but the bank approved me. Now at the time I did not have a license and was suppose to get it the next day and my bf was so eager about having his name on the car also to help build his credit. So he talk the salesman in getting the bank to adding him on the car loan. At the time I did not care because I really wanted the car and trusted my bf to do exactly what he stated by helping and going on half on our new responsibility. We drove off the lot that night with a brand new car but the car was in his both my name and his but because I did not have a license he was listed as primary. I was to come back the next day with proof of a driving license and I did. However they could not switch the name and told us we could do it when we refinance the car in about six to eight months. My bf and I agreed to pay half for both the car payments and the insurance but he has not paid half for not one payment and stop paying half for the insurance 2 months in having the car. It almost a year now. The first excuse was because he went half on the down payment which was only 1000.00 that he had to get he his money back up. I didn't care because at I already had the first 6 month of the payment in my account plus more. After the first 6 month he told me he could not help and will do what he can because he quit his job to focus on his last semester in college and will not have the funds. That when he graduate he will take over the payments and pay the car off so I would not have to worry my last semester. I was upset because I am in school also and was not prepare to take on full responsibility. I ended up getting another job and pay everything ahead a time. At least have three month of payments in my account ahead of time just in case so I do not fall behind. I hate paying bills late so I do everything to avoid it. So far making the payments is not a problem. The problem is his lack of care and help he have for me. He always uses the car and do not put gas in it. He do not offer either. I have made plenty statements about it and he claim he will but have not. He has money out away from his grants but told me he need it for his rent and emergency since he is not working. However I have seen him waste money plenty of times. He goes out and bought a suit for $600.00 (2 months of car payments), and told he needed to look the part for his interviews so it was an investment that had to be made. He has offer to pay classmates for help on his quizzes at school. He only calls me to use the car. He only talks to me when it is about him and when I go to speak he rush me off the phone telling me he has to sleep so he can wake up and study. I work 2 jobs now and a full time student so we barely see each other only when he need to use the car. He does not respond to my text as often anymore and just last week he got upset because I told him I could not help him with a ticket he wanted me to help him pay. Mind you I did not see him for two days and the day before I called and text him and did not get a reply until I text him I could not help him. He then called me and informed me he fell down the stair and hurt himself( his face was busted when I went to see him the following day) and that he did not respond to me because he left his phone in his friend car the night before when they were studying and his friend had just brought his phone back. I ended up agreeing to do what I can but lately I been feeling like I'm being used. Its alot more but I tired of typing.
 
posted by kila (age 25) on 10/7/2015 @12:05:39 PM •
 
I think he is taking advantage. There is a reason his credit was not good enough to get the car on his own- he is irresponsible. Major credit to you for doing what it takes to pay your bills. I know being with someone that long is a big deal but as you can see your future with him will have major money issues. Maybe you should take some personal inventory and see if there are some hard choices that need to be made?
 
posted by kate on 10/8/2015
 


 
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