relationship advice (post new situation)
"My daughter's boyfriend tased her"
I am the mother of a smart, beautiful, eighteen year old girl. I have raised her to be an independent & confident woman. Unfortunately this has not been reflected in her personal relationships. She dated a boy for over a year that called her names, treated her as if she was stupid, & tried to isolate her from her friends. He was extremely direspectful to my family as well. She finally broke up with him & I was relieved especially since I found out the reason. He was doing things to her sexually that she had specifically told him "no" about.
She has recently started dating another boy who seemed extremely nice & became like part of our family. Yesterday my daughter came home with a taser & proceeded to tell us that her boyfriend had tased her because she needed to know how it felt to be tased. She seemed completely unphased by this. I was in shock. Then her 14 year old sister showed me a video she taped a few days prior to this. In the video it shows him threatening to taser her as she begs & pleads for him not to. The video goes on for ten minutes like this. I cried when I watched it. He is laughing while my daughter squeals,pleas, & almost cries as he comes after her with the taser. Then two days later he actually did taser her when he went to hand the taser to her. My husband & I talked to the boy. My husband was very angry & told him it best never happen again. When I talked to him he was defensive. It was suddenly all an accident. That she reached for it too soon. He only tased her hand. If he really wanted to hurt her he could. That we were accusing him of being an abuser & he wasn't. He grew up seeing men hit his mother & his aunts. He started crying but I was very concerned. I never heard I'm sorry. He at first denied saying to her that he had to taser her to know how it felt. Only after I asked him was he calling my daughter a liar did he admit that he said it. After my talk with him, my daughter comforted him because he was crying. My daughter still wants to date this boy. She is 18 & I'm scared to death. She seems to think what happened to her wasn't that bad. Is it just me? Am I over reacting? Is it not a big deal that my daughter's boyfriend tased her? What, if anything, can I do?
posted by Ann on 1/15/2016 @2:01:27 AM •
* no advice has been shared.

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