relationship advice (post new situation)
 
 
"walk away"
 
I am contemplating walking a from a marriage. I was married to this person once before, for ten , mostly unhappy years. Being in the military, it added further stress, but in the end I turned to drinking as a way of coping with feeling like a wallet with legs. I lved this person very much, but the longer we stayed married, the further away intimacy , even hugs and kisses, became rare, and were replaced with controlling behaviour, and seemingly constant crticizing of me. The drinking became alcoholism, repressed anger, and seeking release with "working girls." I did hit her a couple of times in reponse to being hit, which is no excuse and for which I will be forever ashamed of. Men are the hereditary protectors of women, at least I believe that in my heart. To be verbally put down and made to feel like you're stupid without really saying it is an art she has very well mastered. Our marrige produced four wonderful children, who are all adults now. But the years we stayed separated before I decided to end it, were hard and she made sure my contact with the children were always with her present. After the divorce, she finally left me alone. Even when she had problems, I helped her, for my childrens'sake, and she had a meltdown when her mother passed away suddenly, from what was later discovered to be blood clots. She didn't even tell me two months before at Christmas, that she had remarried. She was so deporessed over her moms' death, she wasn't able to work, and lost her job and let her nursing license lapsed. The karma I had predicted to her regarding her actions against me, became a hard reality. She eventually separated and divorced her husband, and when I helped herby letting me her and my youngest child by letting her stay with me, due to her being abandoned by her husband under suspicious circumstaces, I was again rewarded with betrayal and trumped up charges of abuse, conspired by her and her sister, who came to live with us rather uninvited(six weeks turned to to six months of supporting her sister and her lying about looking for work), and again I was left to pick up the pieces of an abandoned, trashed out, apartment. Now nearly three years go, I made the decision to get involved with her again, and have being remarried for nearly a year and a half. Right now, I feel like a few stiff drinks, and disappearing, are looking pretty good. That, and going back to being the hard prrson I used to be.
I don't know what to do, but either way it will be my decision.
 
posted by Juan (age 58) on 6/18/2016 @12:59:51 PM •
 
* no advice has been shared.


 
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