relationship advice (post new situation)
"desperately in need of an answer"
Tell me, someone please, how can you find out if your boyfriend of six years, with whom you share two beautiful children, is spying on you surreptitiously? For approximately the last six months, I have become increasingly fearful and paranoid that my boyfriend has me under constant surveillance.

There is constantly a buzzing noise in our bedroom, and I can plainly hear an electronic device (like a vhs video casette recorder) when I place my ear close to the bookshelf.
He constantly follows me around while pointing his phone at me.
He will not converse with me without having his phone with him, on, and pointed in my direction.
He places large and small mirrors against the walls and in the corners in the areas of our home which I frequent most, and he insists that I leave the lights on in our bedroom constantly, even at nighttime after we've gone to bed
Any time he spends with me, or around me, must be spent in front of his phone.
He spends more time with, and more money using his phone (replacing lost/broken phones, purchasing accessoriess/extra data/SD cards, etc.) than he's ever spent on me.
He has various social media accounts which he denies having or even knowing about; He also has several online accounts which he uses to make purchases (such as PayPal) which he also denies having or knowing about.
He is constantly watching online videos and quite often lately I will catch him speak to his phone as though he were responding to something that was said.
I hear people speaking in the background of the videos he watches.
These people plainly and distinctly make degrading, indignant and condescending remarks about someone who just happens to be doing the very same things that I just happen to be doing, at the very same time that I happen to be doing them.
The worst thing I think of all is being screamed at, discredited, and berated when I confide in my boyfriend about the matter.
And, of course, I am forbidden to touch his phone; I risk dire consequences if I do. I go to bed at night angry and bitter, and I wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead. I've always been somewhat antisocial, but the anxiety and stress from constantly wondering if he is keeping my life under constant observation (not only by him, but anyone else who is interested) has caused me to withdraw socially and isolate myself. My life has become a paranoid, self-involved struggle for privacy, I prefer not to have friends for fear I cannot trust them. I spend all of my time alone(except that which is spent in front of my boyfriend's moviephone). I was compelled to seek advice here when I realized just the other day that I was too frightened to attend the free meal provided by the local church for dinner (he and I are living in a garage, about to become homeless since we are tresspassing). I would rather go hungry than have to be around/interact with people. It is no longer my choice not to have friends-I am unable to connect with another person on any level. I cannot engage in "small-talk with a complete stranger (a cashier or a stranger at the bus stop for example) I get too nervous. I have become paranoid and deeply depressed; I have become completely unable to function. Please someone, advise me; please, is there any way of knowing if he is recording or live streaming me and allowing everyone to peer into my personal life as though I'm an insect about to be dissected.
posted by Geneva on 11/5/2016 @1:18:59 PM •
* no advice has been shared.

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