life advice (post new situation)
"Graduation and Depression/Anxiety"
I'm nearing the end of my last semester of my undergraduate degree. This year has been a serious struggle with anxiety, depression, insomnia, hormonal imbalances and nutrient deficiencies on top of taking hard science courses like chemistry, physics and calculus on top of living back home in the middle of my parents divorce and overall not feeling like I belong due to the realization that the lifestyle most in developed countries lead is destructive to our mind, bodies, soul and the earth. We are all caught up in this failing system and in doing what we do, we are killing not only ourselves, but all the beautiful life forms on earth.

I'm finished with school in a week, and I'm panicking. I have been so entangled in this deep dark cycle of every day sitting for hours completing homework assignments, eating crap food, not exercising. I don't have a social life anymore and avoid interaction with people as much as possible. I don't even really go outside anymore and spend a majority of my time sleeping odd hours and doing homework in my room. I've been trying to figure out my next step, but right now I don't feel grounded enough to feel confident in any decisions I make.

I just don't think I can live in this city any longer. It's not good for my mental health and need to live somewhere where the people have an ecological mindset towards life.. where there are opportunities to get involved in environmental work. However, another part of me feels like I should stay put here and face my issues rather than run from them. I don't know if this is necessarily running though. I mean I moved back from colorado to save money and stuck through with school for a year and feel much worse because of it. But then again, it's like okay. Stay for the summer, work your usual summer job as a tour guide and prepare to move on to the next step rather than hastily make a leap without any preparation. I'm just afraid to even go back to work right now. I've been so beyond stressed with school, I feel like I should take the summer to rest, recuperate and not work this summer, but then another part of me thinks it would be good to put yourself out there and socialize again through working, but am afraid to do so because I've gained a lot of weight and am extremely unhappy with my life and would rather not have my coworkers see me this low. My friend just recently moved to oahu and wants me to move out there. I think I may do that, but don't know whether to stay in san diego for the summer then go in fall or just get the hell out of here as soon as I finish school.

Feel like I'm just spinning in circles, spewing out my issues at this point, but if you have any insight that would be greatly appreciated.
posted by Anna (age 24) on 4/30/2017 @5:00:07 AM •
* no advice has been shared.

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