relationship advice (post new situation)
"torn between to lovers"
I recently just got back together with an ex and things were going great.. we have been seeing each other this time for about a month and everything seems perfect. We have slept together but we BOTH decided it was best if we didnt make that the only thing we were about so we have yet to do it again. I started noticing things though that irritate me and make me wonder if he is worth my time... we dont really enjoy any of the same things.. we dont have much to talk about and there is A LOT of silence between us... he says im perfect and goes on and on and on about how perfect and amazing i am but he doesnt make me feel like it.. when we meet up at the park to hang out with friends, he doesnt get out of the truck and give me a hug.. he makes me stand at his door to talk to him... it makes me feel unappriciated and unnoticed.. its not polite and definitely not resectful...
Well... not long after i started noticing these things.. another ex/good friend of mine come back into my life and we have been tlaking non stop. Him and I enjoy all the same things and were so alike in many ways.. our familys are the same unlike my b/f & my parents(who are opposites) and this guy gives me the love & attention I crave... Idk if I am having cold feet because our relationship is getting serious or if these are warning signs that hes not the right one.. im scared to make the wrong choice! HELP!
posted by PollyDoesntWantYourStupidCracker (age 18) on 3/7/2008 @11:13:41 PM •
I think u shud definatly leave this guy. It sounds to me as if he's just telling u what u wanna hear so u dont leave him. A relationship is all sbout communication and enjoying eachothers company. If your not sure about leaving him U might want to suggest to him that u shud have a brake. And if u don't miss him then u'll know wot to do. The ex/close friend sounds great,u should tell him how u feel
posted by lilly (age 18) on 3/8/2008
Hmm, it all depends on which guy you really feel your better off with. If you think the first guy is no where worth your time, and isn't giving you neither the love nor the respect you deserve, then it is probably the best to leave him.

If you feel though, you can work through that, then definitely talk with him about how you feel. If he continues about how perfect you are, then he's probably just talking to please you, and not trying to solve the problem. If he talks about actually trying to fix whats wrong, then there may still be hope.

Now to the second guy. First, if you do leave the first one, then I would say consider giving this one a try. You both seem to get along very well, and it seems that he may treat you better than the orginial does. Either way, be sure to give both of your options a lot of thought before acting on them. Just make sure you feel your going to the guy who will make you feel the best, and will give you the attention you deserve.
posted by Jon the Mase (age 17) on 3/8/2008
You should consider seeing how the first guy goes for a little bit longer. It could be just a rut in the relationship which can be worked out if both of you acknowledge the issue and agree to put forth the effort to fix it.

I do want to say that the second guy that you talked about clearly has a small issue with respecting you, even though you may not realize it. If he cannot respect the fact that you are in a relationship and tries to get with you, I find it hard to believe he would respect any relationship like he should. If he is heavily flirting with you..I don't know if it has went farther than that..but he clearly finds that appropriate to do that when someone is in a relationship. Who's to say that if you two were in a relationship that he wouldn't do the same thing to another girl? Because he has shown what he finds appropriate for people to do when they are in a relationship, and I would not want my b/f doin that to me.

I'm not trying to be negative with the above, and I hope you the best. Everyone deserves respect and affection.
posted by la-dee-da (age 18) on 3/10/2008
I say follow your heart. Explain to your boyfriend how you feel and if he loves you then he will inderstand. Try out this new guy and see if you and him last. Good luck.
posted by Lynn (age 19) on 3/10/2008

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