life advice (post new situation)
"i want to be happy"
almost a year ago i got raped. i told my mom about it. she had to tell my family b/c she convensed me to press charges. some times i wish i never would have told anyone b/c i feel like everyones disgusted with me. it makes me want to kill myself. i dont know how to be happy anymore. i always am worried. i feel like im permentaly messed up. i feel nasty. i have seen a theripest and taken anti-depressents. i still feel this way. and i cant talk about it face to face with anyone. im scared of what they will think of me. i havent told anybody exactly what happend just that it did. and i can get it to go away. im scared im pushing the people i love the most away b/c i have become sensitive with things people say and i get angery very very very easily. i hate myself. i just want to be normal.
posted by erica (age 16) on 3/9/2008 @7:54:39 PM •
I know how it kinda feels, I was molested at the age of 7, and i felt it was my fault and i felt that i was a whore. But it isn't your fault. You shouldn't feel nasty,and I'm not very open about either, I haven't even told my own best friend. But i don't think anybody is forcing you to tell people.
I hope my advice helped you.
posted by Miranda on 3/9/2008
nobody is disgusted with you, and you're not nasty. think about it this way: if somebody hit me in the back of the head with a frying pan, would you be disgusted with me? no way. you'd think that somebody with no heart hurt me, knowing there would be no way i could defend myself. what happened to you is a horrible, horrible thing, and in no way your fault. you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and if you could go back and change it, you would. none of it is because of you.

it would be impossible for anyone with a brain to look down on you for what happened. seriously. it's probably your guilt that makes you feel that way. but you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

just hang in there, and know that you're not permanently messed up in anybody's eyes. something very awful happened to you, but that's seperate from the person you are.

you didn't deserve what happened to you. but you do deserve to be able to feel good again, and to have an awesome life from here on out.
posted by jj (age 32) on 3/10/2008
Well its not easy after you have been abused like that. I have been abused like that and it was more then once by the same person. It happened for about 6 years on and off. The last time it happened was 6 years ago and its hard for me to talk about it to anyone. Even those I love and trust with everything. It makes you feel like you relive those moments.. but I have learnt that if you find someone that you really trust and know that won't blame you and you tell them then you will have a shoulder to cry on and it makes you feel a lot better. Its not your fault it happened. Its that perverts fault. Don't blame yourself and if your medicine for depression doesn't work.. maybe you can either solve it by new meds or talking it out. I use to be on meds for depression for about a year or two because of what happened. You will never get to a point where you can say what happened without feeling something. I cried a little just writing the beginning of this. I am really sorry that there are people out there like that but at least you don't have to live with the person that did that to you and have almost no one that believes you. My mom just started to believe about 2 months ago and thats because I told her a few details. Its hard.
posted by Lynn (age 19) on 3/10/2008

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