other advice (post new situation)
"I need help,"
There's this guy and I liked him alot. And i hung out with him alot, and he told me he wouldnt ever go out with any other girl, and we were talking about my best friend and about he only liked her as a friend, and she knew i liked him, and then she started dating him, and i've been told i should just ignore the guy i like, and not be friends with my best friend. i dont know what to do.
posted by Kristine (age 14) on 3/9/2008 @8:27:24 PM •

you seem like a rele good girl. but your "best friend" seems kinda shady i know wht you are goin through. my friend i wouldnt call her a best friend but she would always get madd whenever i would have a boyfriend..it jealousy thts all...i thinjk you should get over tht kidd even though it will be hard but it will help an dyou best friend shouldnt desverve you if she is going ot be like tht...you need to find a different bestfriend...

posted by Samantha on 3/10/2008
thats not right...
well have you told him your true feelings?

and if your supposed 'friend' started going out with him even though she knew you liked him, just forget her.

i know it may sound kind of cruel but you dont need that kind of 'friend' in your life.

or if you dont want to let go, talk to them both. its difficult but you should know what to say.

Mainly what you should do is maybe just wait for him, or if you talk to him, they might just break up.

Its not right to break them up, but they got together on the wrong premises.
posted by N°8 (age 15) on 3/10/2008
First of all, if that girl you called your best friend knew that you liked him she should have never had anything to do with him unless it was through you. Obviously she's not the friend you thought she was. About the guy, well he lied to you, so yes you need to drop him because he will more than likely lie to you again. If they know whats right they will tell you that what they did was wrong and apologize for it, but in this world today there is only very few people who have enough "guts" to admit they are wrong and apologize. There are better people out there and you deserve a better friend, so start meeting new people and find a new crowd who will treat you right.
posted by taylor on 3/10/2008
well... i had diss problem too... anyways um i think u should talk to da guy latr alone when he has time when he aint hangin out wit dat betrayer!! and da part when people tell u not 2 b her friend um i think dats a good idea cuz she betrayed u!!! heelllooo? so um dont b friedns wit her and just try to talk to da boy... if he don wanna talk.... 3 words... GET OVER HIM!!! ok?

good luckk
posted by nichole on 3/10/2008
There will be other guys that is always something to remember. You may like this guy alot but when it comes down to it why settle for someone who obviously does not know what he has right in front of him. Show that you respect yourself and think higher of yourself by "backing off" because that will show a clear message. As for your friend, that is no fun but you have to analyze if it is worth ending your friendship for some guy who will most likely just be temporary. Give them both space and do your own thing. Think about doing some special things for yourself this week like getting a manicure or having some FUN alone time. That will make you feel all the better and the time and space away will do miracles on mending your heart. Who knows maybe in doing your own thing you will find someone else. Hope that helps..just alot of similar experiences that I have learned from.
posted by Kacy (age 20) on 3/10/2008
If both your friend and the guy broke their word you shouldn't have anything more to do with them. Think of it as this a liar is best suited to a liar if they both put their ties to you aside so easily then you really don't need them around. It's like what happens with me if someone or a group isn't treating me well I leave end of story, so your best option is to distance yourself and wash your hands of the matter.
posted by Moses (age 18) on 3/10/2008
I have been in this kind of situation before. I really think yoiu need to talk to your best friend and let her know how it makes you feel. It doesnt feel good and have her realize she wouldnt appreciate it if the situation was flipped and she was in your shoes. I think if she really is your best friend she will realize that she is hurting you and use every effort to try and make things better. This boy is not someone either of you want to be involved with. If this early into getting to know him and liking him he is playing best friends against each other. I say ditch the boy save your friendship.
posted by Victoria (age 18) on 3/10/2008
Sounds to me like if she was a true friend and he really liked you then they would of never decieved you in the first place. I say find better. You deserve it girl. Get a real man and a new best bud and ignore their imature behavior. They are just trying to get to you and at that age kids like to play head games. Trust me girl.. if will get better.
posted by Lynn (age 19) on 3/10/2008
forget him no man is worth as i have come to find out that there is always gonna be someone out there made just for u n maybe u havent found them yet but u will i know that i havent found mine but i hope that someday i will meet the one man ment for me n i can hardly wait for that day but thats all u can is wait cause there is no other choice
so hang on things will get better for ur friend it may not seem like it now but it will
posted by girly (age 18) on 3/11/2008
The best thing you can do is let it go. You should still be friends with them, but you need to let the hopes of a relationship with him go because it won't happen. That's about the best advice this guy can give. I hope it helps.
posted by Ethan (age 17) on 3/11/2008
well see some boys only want sex. which is most likely what that kid wanted
if i was a girl in your spot right now
i would probably try talking to my best friend and find out why she would do something like that
then honestly just stop talking to that boy
because people dont change and he would probably do it again
posted by matt (age 16) on 3/11/2008
I know it seems hard and like a huge deal right now, but take a minute to reconsider what's happened and do it with a light heart. At your age lots of crap will be happening w/ b/fs and b/f/fs but just accept it and move on.
Your guy obviously ended up going against his word (which happens alot! w/ dumb young guys! get used to it) and things didnt work how you'd like. Who cares? It might hurt a while but there are hundreds of other hotties out there for you to chose from, who have way more to offer than your confused ex. Forgive them both. If you bestie really is, patch things up with her or gracefully break ties. Friends come and go you'll find. (They come faster if you're a smiling, upbeat, happy person who doesn't sweat the small stuff). Give it a few weeks and you'll see how things work themselves out if they're handled smoothly, with a understanding, forgiving heart. Good luck
posted by kim (age 18) on 3/11/2008
Well I think the one think to start with is that you're only 14, and can't let these kind of things ruin relationships with friends. But, because what your best friend did, knowing your feelings towards that guy, really means you should reconsider who your friends are.

Think of it like this. If she was your best friend, would she have done that to you. Knowing how you felt, knowing there might have been a chance you could have dated, would she have really done that? I would hope not.

The final thing is that you really don't need to ignore this guy, but don't let him take you in like that again. Be sure if tries to start flirting with you, and talks about "liking" you, then it's probably safe to assume the guy is just playing as many girls as he can, or is just confused.

Considering your only around 14, it's probably the former, and not the latter. Anyways, do remember that your still young. You can't let guys like that determine your friendships, but also be careful of who your friends are. In the end it's your choice of whether or not the guy and your friend are worth it, but just be careful to really give it consideration.
posted by Jon the Mase (age 17) on 3/11/2008
NEVER let a crush Harm your friendship. Its the worst thing to do to anyone. Your young... Love Will Find You In The Future Thats When Youll Find Your True Friends. STAY FRIENDS.. And Move on...

good luck
posted by Chris on 3/17/2008

  [ disclaimer ] [ sign in ] [ contact us ] [ search ]
please take reasonable measures to protect your safety and privacy when posting situations or advice or participating in an exchange. read more... © word of advice, wordofadvice.org & wordofadvice.com. powered by simplifyit. site map.