relationship advice (post new situation)
"approaching girls"
always been the shy guy all through school, every girl I ever dated I was friends with first. All relationships came from that. I lost alot of weight, im into bodybuilding etc now in the past three years, and I get hit on by women alot (usually older women at work, or the girls there that are too young), so im pretty confident about my looks without bragging.. my problem is approaching a girl that I think looks good in random places without coming off like a creep running game. What would a girl think if you walked up to her in the mall and just started talking to her?

Guess I need tips on approaching the girls I WANT to approach. I don't want to run game, if it was about "getting some" I could do that, but thats not what I want.

Do you like to be approached in the mall, gym, library, grocery store, etc by a complete stranger? Whats a sincere/non-threatening way to do it?
posted by DC (age 21) on 3/12/2008 @2:58:35 PM •
Well i think its very flattering for a guy to come up and start talking to me. Its what storybooks are made of for girls. I know i go up to guys and talk to them and i'm not a creep about it i PROMISE! but the trick is to do it to make someone have a better day...well at least my reasoning. "Hey, what's your name? ... well my name is... i just wanted to let you know you are (a. adorable, b. gorgeous, c. seem very interesting) and i would love to get to know you." works great. Giving a cheesy line does not work unless the girl has a good sense of humor. "so you come here often? (laugh)" will break the ice when you are nervous... only after she knows your name and can giggle a bit.
Well i dunno if i just rambled alot or helped but good luck!!
posted by Felicia on 3/12/2008
This is kind of a tough situation. I know I could never randomly go up to a guy and just start talking to him, unless I had a couple girlfriend around. For some reason, having your friends around makes you feel a little more confident. I've heard (although I don't know if it is true) that women can sense when a man lacks confidence, and usually the guy gets rejected, making him even MORE self-concious. And the reason for the weak confidence is because of you. You worry what other people think about you. Once you let that go, you feel so much better and much more confident. Let's see, as for a technique..if you see a girl who looks potentially interesting, just go up and say hi. If she responds in a good way, just start making some small talk, show her you're interested in her as a person, not a just a thing. If she doesn't seem interested, don't sweat. She just wasn't worth your time, and you'll move on. If I was approached by a guy who didn't act strange or just do weird things, I would of course talk to him. Just don't be afraid to be bold.
posted by Molly (age 18) on 3/13/2008
I could go into detail and write paragraph after paragraph but to save my poor little fingers the stress, allow me to state the fact there are great authors out there who've studied to the utmost and made careers of this topic, so go to the library and search for books on flirting. I've read a couple, and believe it or not it's worked wonders for me-I now feel confident and unstopable with the boys(I was the type of girl who always looked hot but wasn't getting anywhere 'couse I wouldn't even make eye contact). You just gotta think "Okay DC, what's the worst that could happen". Lots Of trial and error and learning from it-key. And remember that all girls are attention whores, and even eye contact and a smile from a hotty would be enough to hightlight one's day . So, time to stop being a **** and go for Good luck champion!
posted by Kim (age 18) on 3/13/2008
DC, you sound like a really nice guy. im sure any girl you approached would be absolutely flattered about you approaching her. the mall could seem a little creepy though. unless you see her eyeing you first. the gym is completely casual though, as is the library. you just cant be scared of rejection. the only way to know what could be is if you try it out!
posted by jamie on 3/17/2008

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