relationship advice (post new situation)
Ok so I was going out with this guy for like 2 years, but then I figured out he liked this other girl so he broke-up with me and went out with her. So then she broke-up with him and he asked out one of my bestfriends. I still like him and my friend said yes without even asking me about it. Ever time I try to talk to her I just get mad and walk away. I cant stand to even look at her anymore. What should I do. I dont want to lose a friend, but I cant bear it anymore.
posted by Kristina (age 20) on 3/15/2008 @10:32:28 AM •
Well then it wasnt true love if yall were in love. Boys are boys you know they are dumb. But you cant blame it all on her. Yes it is part her fault but he left you. Well getting mad is common. She is with ur ex. But hunny there are sooo Many more wonderful fish in the sea. & Dealing with yuor friend. You just have to let her know how you feel. & if you cant bear it then maybe it is time to get some new friends. Ones that wont stabb you in the back!
xo. Helper
posted by Casey<3 on 3/17/2008
Just talk to her and if she doesnt want to listen then she wasnt a very good friend anyways.
posted by Jessica (age 20) on 3/17/2008
honestly the guy mustbe a scum bag for even asking your bestfriend out in the first place,
he must have had some idea that it would have done something to mess you and her up so he did it.
but on your friends part,
some of the blame is on her for saying yes,
but then again at times it is hard to reject somebody.
i did this shady act before,
and i regret it, but my buddy forgave me for it,
and laughed bcuz me and his ex didnt last too long anyway.
but maybe you should tell your friend how it hurt you, and if she's a true friend she'll find someone else
posted by Joshua (age 18) on 3/17/2008
Well, you need to talk to her about one way or the other, because that could go one of two ways. There's a slight chance that she didn't realize it would hurt you so badly, and when to confront her about it, maybe she'll decide that her friendship with you is more important than her relationship with him. On the other hand, she could always completely disregard what you have to say. If she does that, I'd stop considering her a friend. You don't deserve to be haunted by her and your ex. Well, that's going to be a problem either way, but you don't need to see them together all the time, and hear her talk about him. It's just not right, I'm sorry.
posted by Jean (age 17) on 3/17/2008
honestly girl that chick is not even worth your time if she decides to think about her own simple pleasures and dating a guy that you had been with for 2 years that tells me that she is a piece of **** for a friend no offense but the truth hurts. no true friend would ever do that to someone. her actions were completely selfish and insensitive. she shouldve at least had the decency to ask you how you felt about it. but im guessing she didnt ask becuz she knew it would upset you so instead of taking the high road to try and keep the friendship she chose to deceive and betray you emotionally. no friend is a friend if they chose to stab you in the back like that. i would never do that to a friend and i dont see why anyother person would think its okay to do that to someone. i say screw her and screw him becuz they cant handle the pressures of being a mature adult and handling things in a heart-felt sensitive no-drama way. your feelings of anger and betrayal are totally justified. im sure you are a wonderful girl that can do anything you put your mind to. you can do better than that for guys and girls. whether its romatically or not. you deserve a friend that wouldnt even dream of doing that to you and im sure you will find it. i have faith in you and dont worry about that guy, there are alot of other fish in the sea and im sure that you can find the right one for you that will treat you with the love and respect that you truly deserve as a female and as a human being. i hope my words have helped you. drop that **** and forget about them they arent worth your time and effort and even though you may have shed some tears. they arent worth the tears your eyes have cried or will cry. no man is worth your tears.. and the only one that is.. wont make you cry. have a good day sweetie. and keep your head up losing a guy and a girlfriend at the same time may seem like a big thing.. but people change and sometimes you need to set people to the side to move on with your life in order to grow mentally. dont lose faith in yourself. you are worth it and they obviously arent. if you would like to contact me about the matter if you need anymore advice i would be happy to help you out. heres my myspace
have a great day girl peace love and happiness
~bong rip babe~
posted by brandi (age 19) on 3/17/2008
I was in a sistuation like this before. The only thing that really helped me was how much I cared about the guy. It bothered me that he was dating my best friend ((and vise versa)) but they were happy so I could only be happy for them. It's not worth losing a friend over it. There's plenty of other guys. Just think, you are single now ((correct??)) and now you can get out and meet a new guy.
posted by Megan on 3/17/2008
kristina, you have every right to be mad. 2 years is a long time, do you still have feelings for this guy? or do you just feel betrayed by your friend? you have every right to feel betrayed. he hurt you, and you just want to make sure he doesnt hurt you. it was wrong of her not to ask you. chances are he's going to come crawling back to you when these don't work out. you dont have to lose her as a friend you just need to contain that anger or let it all out right before, and then just talk to her. maybe she thought you were already over him?? i wish you the best of luck!
posted by sydney on 3/17/2008
well what i would do is talk to her and get things fixed i mean i know that your mad ate her but she should not have to ask you to go out with someone just say hey i still like him and it hurts to see him in your arms my best friends
posted by Mike on 3/17/2008
I think that you need to sit her down and talk to her. I understand that you are angry at her and it IS frusterating but you need to talk to her about it. Some girls do just get excited and say yes on the spur of the moment type of thing. You need to tell her how it upsets you and how you think that it isnt right of her to do this. Hope it all works out!
posted by Megan (age 20) on 3/17/2008
Sometimes you just have to overlook some things that happen and keep going. Not everything has a purpose. Maybe she didn't think it would bother you, maybe she didn't care, or maybe you accidentally did something to her and she's trying to get back at you. But trust me, I know from being homeless five times since I turned 18 in August, from all the people who I've known and been betrayed by, sometimes things like this just happen, and there's not really a way to make it better. So honestly, if I were you, I would just put a smile back on my face and let it be. That's what I've always done.
posted by Alexi (age 18) on 3/17/2008
This happened to me once. Sometimes these things happen for a reason. Have to talked to your friend about how you feel? Thats what i did and she didn't even know that i still liked him.
posted by Kris (age 17) on 3/17/2008
Same thing happened to me. I felt the same way. But we started talking and everything we talked it out. Try it see how things work out(:
posted by kit (age 20) on 3/17/2008
alright well I was engaged to the love of my life almost 7 months ago. Then **** went down and we took a break for a few days. Come to find out while I was at work he cheated on me with my best friend in the whole world. Then 2 days later hey hooked up. I lost my best friend and my FIANCE!. so your so called best friend is not your friend at all, especially when she didnt even think about you in this. you can do much better. look at me, i spent 6 months crying and looking like **** to finally realize that i dont need them at all in my life. Girl go get yourslef all fixed up and go out and have a good night to yourself. You deserve it!!!!
posted by Bri (age 17) on 3/17/2008
First of all dump them zeros and get u a hero.
With friends like that who needs enemies.
Any friend that would do that, their not a friend.
Friends don't do friends that a way. If she's going to let a no good for nothing man come in between ur friend ship, knowing how u feel about him and knowing he was with u before, knowig how u still feel about him. Then they was never ur friend to begin with. I say kick them both to the curb. Life is to short
U would want him back after all that anyway wouldu?
To have it all happen again. Because once a **** always a ****. nothing changes but the person he's with at the time. I was married to one for 14 yrs. A leopard doesnt change their spots.
posted by Stella (age 47) on 3/17/2008
To Tell You The Truth... I Was In His Shoes, And I Regret What I Did to her More and More everyday... Theres Two Things You Can Do To Help Yourself GEt Through This

1) Make Him Regret What He Did To You Bye Just Staying Friends With Your BFF and Ex-BF, After Awhile THis Will Sink in On Him And Eat at His Heart Untill He Admits Hes Sorry For what he did

2)Ignore it... Doing This Wont Help In Any Relationship And Has A 90% Chance Of Ruining Your selfestem

And If You Still Care For Him Very Much... Youll Let Him Go An Live His Life... The Girl I Left, Is Still In Love With Me. And... IDK What to do with that...

Hoped I Helped You

Christopher H.
posted by Christopher (age 19) on 3/17/2008

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