relationship advice (post new situation)
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We have two kids. I love him more than anything and would marry him in an instant. We've had problems in the past with him cheating on me. He says he loves me but there are times he is really mean and he goes out with his friends everytime is he is off and doesnt want to stay home with us. I love him and want to spend time with him but I just feel like he doesnt want to be around me even though he says he loves me. I just dont know what to do to show him what he means to me. I really dont want to be with anyone else and I really do want to marry him. I want him to see how much he means to me and I want more time with him.
posted by Jessica (age 20) on 3/17/2008 @7:11:26 AM •
This would be a lot easier to answer if you didn't have children together, but, I'm going to try my best.

Marriage is a whole different ballgame. It's not like dating, or even living together for that matter. You have to understand that those awful things he does are never going to go away. He may always do them, and they could get worse. Or, he could man up and decide that it was time to settle down. I don't see him doing that though, to tell you the truth. Before you decide that you want to marry him, I think you should ask yourself if you're ready to live with his mean ways for the rest of your life, because they may never go away, like I said. Even if you were to get married, it's way too easy to get a divorce these days. Are you sure you're ready to spend your life with him?
posted by Jean (age 17) on 3/17/2008
If it bothers you so much that he spends more time with friends then with his family, tell him. If he says he's sorry but continues to do it, take a break from him. Leave for a week or two and let him have his time. If he really loves you and your kids, he'll realizes before the "break" is up. If not, let him go and find someone better ((there is someone better)).
posted by Megan on 3/17/2008
jessica, im going to try hard not to be cliche. but for the begining i have to be, havent you ever heard the phrase if he isnt good to you then he doesnt deserve you? it is so true. but back to this, because you probably would say but there's other times when he's great and he's the one. well you need to just tell him how much he means to you, and then see his reaction. if he says he feels the same, then ask him about marriage. you cant be afraid to say everything you're feeling to him in fear that he may break up with you. if he loves you like you say he does, he's probably just scared. keep me posted on how it works out!!
posted by sydney on 3/17/2008

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