family advice (post new situation)
"I try."
Me and my dad have never had a close relationship. If i want anything to do with him i have to put forth the effort. he never tries.. I have to call him a day before my birthday and tell him to call me on my birthday. he treats my brother normal. I just dont understand.
posted by Becca on 12/19/2007 @9:35:19 PM •
I think you should talk to him about why he treats you the way he does. Lots of things can be solved with healthy confrontation. If he won't talk about it or does but refuses to change anything, consider the possibility that he just isn't worth the effort and move on. You can waste so much time and energy on something that it just becomes unhealthy. You shouldn't feel obligated to have a relationship with him just because he is your father. If he isn't willing to further that relationship, then he obviously doesn't feel obligated to you. Why should you be any different? However, on the flip side I am a firm believer in giving people second chances. Never close the door on possible reconciliation. If he comes to you, be willing to listen. He may have changed.
posted by Patrick on 12/20/2007
I have to say when my dad was like that towards me I felt like u do hopeless and worthless to a certain degree and very confused, i found out it was because I reminded him of my mother who he had divorced. I wont lie to you it takes immense courage to stand up to your father in the way that needs to happen to solve your problem but if nothing becomes of it then its time to put it away and forgive him for being an idiot so that you dont have problems in the future. if you truly get over it youll be fine. things like this may need a lot of time depending on his reasons but dont be afraid and stand up for yourself. mabe instead of calling him before your birthday let him realise it on his own and then if you want answers a confrontation intelligently played by you could change the crapness you may feel. Good luck
posted by Jessica on 12/29/2007

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