relationship advice (post new situation)
well have always had a problem with relationships. I had a boyfriend for 1 year that i never really did anything with but it had to end cuz i was tired of leading him on. Now i have been in countless number of flings that last for maybe a week or two and it seems like every single fling i get involved in I sleep with. But there is this one guy named Ben that is completely different from all the rest. He just got out of a bad relationship and he does not really want a relationship. But he is just so nice i cannot stop chasing him. And he recently found out my reputation around here and does not want anything to do with me now. And I think that i have chased him and annoyed him so much he does not wanna talk to me. Last time this happen I was on suicide watch through my job. Someone would bring me food and knock on my door every 2 hours to make sure I was still alive and I was not allowed to leave the premises. I do not want that to happen again but I am new to town and he is one of the only friends I have here so far and I cannot afford to loss him. It is bad enough that I am thousands of miles away from my family but I really cannot afford to loss him as a friend considering he is the only guy friend that I have not done anything with. I really don't know what to do
posted by Nicole (age 18) on 3/27/2008 @3:39:51 PM •
I think that you need to forget Ben. I think that you need to start over (not move again, but start over). Drop all the people who know your old reputation and join things like programs at your local Y or join a church and meet people. If you can get away from the people who make you suicidal and you can get away from your reputation, you'll be a much happier person.
posted by Audrey (age 17) on 4/5/2008

I understand completely how you are feeling.I understand Reps.Sweetie what you have to do is show people that whatever label rep,etc. that has been put on you is not true.As for the guy dont ever chase them i know its hard and you want someone to be near and to love.But it will eventually come i promise you if the guy seems like he is not intrested let it go move on. Because somewhere out there is the perfect guy just for you!!! it will come sweetie i promise you just be paitent...As for the time you were on suicide watch. Suicide is not the answer to anything. Your life is so important i know things get tough i understand how you start to feel but you just have to cope. because 99.9% of the time if you wait it out things will get better.You have the power to be somthing great sweetheart. LET TODAY BE THE DAY THAT YOU START FRESH AND SHOW THE WORLD THE REAL YOU!!!

Your in my prayers sweetie and i truly believe you can do it!!

Your Friend
Chris Williamson
posted by Chris (age 18) on 4/5/2008
ok, well first of all, i dont know why you would give yourself up to all these guys and make that type of reputation for yourself, but if thats what makes you happy, fine. you have to realize that you dont need a guy in your life to be ok. i know its a friend and you dont have family close but you just have to learn that you can be independent and you can do it on your own. try harder to make a better reputation for yourself because otherwise no one will respect you. try to talk to him about it and tell him how you really feel and if he doesnt understand, he's not worth it.
posted by chelsae (age 18) on 4/5/2008
Well... the bottom line is that he needs to trust you. And you cant rush that. Take it slow and try and control yourself; slowly start conversations but nothing too deep. As for your reputation, you can put it straight and just have him think what he wants while you work on your trust bond.

Everyone has done something they don't approval of, but that doesnt make them a bad person. Just bad choices. So work at yourself to become something you want this guy to remember.
posted by Kajo (age 18) on 4/5/2008
I think you need to back off for a while. Give it some time and stop sleeping around. Let him see that you have changed and dont want to be apart of that lifestyle anymore. This way you have a possibility of dating him in the long run and you can also escape your old reputation and develop a new and more positive one.
posted by Jessica (age 19) on 4/6/2008
Look if you really care for him then you need to try and have a talk with him. Just try to explain everything to him and hope that he understands. If your just trying to be with him then he probably will want to quit talking to you but if you really want a true friend then tell him that. Thats all you can really do. Sit down with him and tell him how you truly feel.
posted by Richard (age 18) on 4/6/2008

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