family advice (post new situation)
"my mom"
my mom died about a month ago and i dont know what to do
posted by destiny (age 19) on 3/28/2008 @6:03:17 PM •
my uncle died recently too and i was very close to him as well. You just have to really think about the good times not about wat happend]

love in christ

posted by Danielle (age 18) on 3/28/2008
Hey Destiny, I know how you feel, when I lost my mom I I never knew what to do or think. But there's not much you can do but remember her and try to remember what she taught you through life and allways smile cause you dont want her to see you cry :)
posted by Kevin (age 18) on 3/28/2008
i lost my step mom 3 years ago she waz to me the closest thing i think ill ever have to a real mom. cancer for 2 years then it went away... after a month she had developed a defrent cancer.. it took her in a week... it was hard at first and it still herts but i just think she is in a better place and waiting for me and ill see her soon. just live the life u know she would want u to live and remember the pain and all the happyness she brought u! i have no memory of he face or the color of her hair and i gess that herts the most... stay strong!
posted by Derek the happy boy (age 18) on 3/28/2008
Aw sweetie. I am soo sorry. I dont really know what your going through... the only thing I can tell you is that if you are religious pray to god to take your oain away and ask him to help you through this time of need...

if not.. talking to friends on a regular basis.. like almost everyday, and feeling what you feel... and getting allthe tears and emotions out help as well... Even to a stranger.. like on AIM... I am always on if you wanna talk.. and you can ALWAY e-mail me.

Hope I helped. and i am soo sorry about your loss..

posted by Amanda (age 20) on 3/28/2008
I'am very sorry.I know it's hard.My mom died when I was little.Just think about the good times you shared.Know that she would want you to be happy and go on with your life and live it too the fullest.It will be okay.
posted by Mandy on 3/28/2008
Hey Destiny I know how that is. Its hard loosing someone you love. Your mom is sitting in heaven wanting you to be happy for her and not sad. God appearently thought it was her time to go. Make a scrap book of all your memories you had with her. and just remeber she may not be here physically but in your heart she will always be with you
posted by Charlene (age 18) on 3/28/2008
my mom did too. still waiting for advice
posted by Katie (age 19) on 3/28/2008
hey girl, i dont know what its like to loose my mother but i can say i honestly know what you are going thru. i can say that because i lost my dad when i was 15 just bout to be turning 16 and i was lost and very confused when my dad pasted aways but i know i made it thru with the help and support of my friends , im a senior in high school and fixing to graduate so i know my dad would be proud..anywho, what i want to tell you is that yes i will be very hard at first beacause you are young and you need your mom just like i needed my dad so you are kinda having to grow up faster than you are suppose to, but just take it slow, and every thing will be okay promise it will get worse before it gets better you can do it, just remember no matter what you do or happens your mom will be watching over you and she will love you and be proud of you always, hope i was some help to you... but i do promise it will be okay and you can make it thru....

love always,
tanya anne
posted by tanya anne (age 18) on 3/28/2008
Dear Destiny,

I know how hard it is to lose your mother. I lost mine a little over ten years ago... But I've come to learn that no matter how similar our situations may be, our varying levels of relationship with the ones we lose are not the same, making all the difference. I can't say I know exactly how you feel; nobody will truely understand the extent of your lose. But what I can tell you is that no matter what you do, do not keep everything inside. I can tell that you've already made steps towards opening up just by sharing a small portion of your story here; that's much more than what I would have or could have done, and I greatly admire you for that. Also, keep your mother alive; tell people about her, share stories; let everyone know how great she was...and will remain... I hope I was in some way some help to you... If you want to talk more, please don't hesitate to message me. I will keep you in my thoughts.
posted by Todd (age 17) on 3/28/2008
Keep her memory alive.
its intense to think about it
but think of her often
the heartache may never fade
but feeling a memory is much more precious
than not wanting to at all.
you know her more than anyone else
you have a daughter/mother bond
that noone could take away from you,
you have shared more than any other person,
treasure it. keep it alive.
even though she may not be alive,
she is alive within you.
every time you think of her smile, think of a beautiful memory and think of it .

i wish you the best.

posted by carly (age 18) on 3/28/2008
hey babe girl i know your having a really hard time i lost my grandmother who rasied me so babsically she was my mother. its really hard to coop i know but just think your mother would want you to be happy and to move on with your life not forget her never and she knows that she will always be watching you in the big place in the sky shes with the lord now and shes ok she loves you no matter what and that shpuld help you when your feeling down knowing that she wants you to be happy and to move on so she can continue to watch you grow!!!
im really sorry about your loss and i hope that i can help you im here if you wanna talk!
posted by ashlie (age 19) on 3/28/2008
Personally, Destiny i've never lost a parent. But that's not to say I don't have the experience of losing people just as close to me as my mom or my dad. When my grandparents died, on my dad's side, I was completely devastated. I didn't know what to do and for the longest time I hated the world. I was so confused and lost without them, I hurt badly and I turned to cutting.

I suggest you not do that, to start out.

But talking about it does help, if you can find someone you inevitably trust deeply enough to share all these confined feelings you're having swirl around inside you.

But I also recommend that, sure, best friends and other close family members are good to talk to about it but find someone who you're not so close to. Someone you feel you can trust and get close to.

That way things tend to be a little smoother. Family and friends often times can become a little prejudice and opinionated in their advice when they don't always mean to, you know?

Anyways, that's all I got for you but feel free to e-mail me and even if you want, you can add me on MSN if you have it. - My MSN is the same as my e-mail.

There's always Yahoo and Aim too.

Yahoo - comatoseaffliction
Aim- munchykinfayyce

I'm here to listen if you want to talk.
posted by Brit (age 18) on 3/28/2008
I lost my mother on feb/02/08 of lung cancer all I can say is ues it hurts but just have faith that you will see her again one day when the time is right..

hope,love,an faith
posted by muriel (age 20) on 3/29/2008
I lost my big brother, my aunt on my mom side, and my grandmother on my dads all at age 13 in the same year. So sucks more since i had to see my brother die before my eyes cuz of a shot to the heart gang related thing. I was sad...but i couldn't cry of my brother. I knew the tears wouldn't bring him back and i had to deal with my family getting angry sometimes at me cuz they were confused why i wasn't crying like them. I was angry when people told me he was in a better place, because I wanted him here, and i didnt care if i was being selfish.

But...I came to terms that, hopefully one day i'll see him again. And it made me happy just a little bit. It doesnt get better, thats the real truth. Sometimes it really hits me that hes not there, cuz I still do expect him to walk in the door and tell me it was all a bad dream. But on the other hand the pain starts to numb and you're able to not forget, but deal with it.

Bad things happen to good people...its just...we dont all have to go through it alone. *huggles*
posted by Kajo (age 18) on 3/29/2008
I lost my great grandfather 10 years ago. That's along time ago, but i still miss him. We were very close. When i was younger i spent most of my time at his house. I do miss him very much and that will never go away. I know i will see him again. He's in a better place and no longer suffering. Go about with your life. You're mother is still here and you again will see you someday. Think about all the good times you guys had together. She's with you right now and i'm sure she wouldn't want you to be depressed and stop living your life. Live is too short, so just love her and know she's still here, you'll see her again.
posted by tina on 3/29/2008
hey destiny,
when i was 11 my dad passed away from cancer. however, i know that what you are going through right now is most likely different in many ways. no matter how many people say that they know how you feel or that they have "been through the exact same thing" it is not entirely true. People handle losing parents or any loved one in completely different ways, but the one thing i know for sure is how guilty i seemed to feel when my dad died. i felt as if i shouldnt have been living and god should have taken me instead. yet over time i realized that every single thing that happens to you in life, happens for a reason that you might not find out what that reason is for maybe even years, even as hard or unrealistic as that might seem. And as you know, the grief of losing a loved one seems unbearable at times, and many say that times heals the pain, but im afraid that it doesnt. the only thing that mends your broken heart is faith; faith in that things will turn out for the better in the end, and most importantly if you believe in god, the faith in him is what will always help you get through this. and i know that one of the things that is on your mind all the time is "Why me?" which is completely normal. but the reason god does certain things to people, such as taking your mother, is because He knows that your are a strong and courageous person to handle this adversity. and with that strength you will overcome any obstacle that may come your way. and i will leave you with one of MANY quotes that helped me get through my grief when i lost my father: "in life there are many good & bad things that happen to us, but there are very few of us that overcome adversity and are inspired by it."
posted by lana (age 18) on 3/30/2008
my mother died years ago hardest thing iv ever had to do its important to be strong for other family members but also take time out for yourself so you can deal with this.. its important not to bottle things up because it will come blow up in your face sooner or later
posted by mel on 3/31/2008
i had a grandmother die when i was in the fifth grade and iknow it hurts but you got to know that she never left you shes still with you and shes watching over you
posted by Andrew (age 20) on 4/1/2008

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