relationship advice (post new situation)
"love or lust"
I have been on and off seeing my bestfriend, who i think i am totally in love with.. we just broke up because i am not ready to be in a serious relationship like that. I did tell him that i want to be with him forever just not now.

At the same time i reallly like a guy who actually saved my life recently, we have just been talking and he is amazing, i feel myself thinking that i could potentially be in a relationship with him, or potentially falling for him.

Should i choose love or lust? a new guy or someone i have known for 9 years?
should i just take my own advice and not think about boys... leaving it to having two amazing friends?

posted by Angela (age 20) on 4/4/2008 @1:19:00 AM •
Well, think it through...
who treats you better?
who can you see spending time with?
which guy makes you laugh?
who could you see being your best friend even if you chose the other guy.
I am a guy.
so i dont really know how hard it is for a chick to get caught between friends...
but i do know lifes to short to mess around and feel bad.
so... just...think it over..
make a pro-con list?
talk to the guys??
idk babe.
i hope i helped.
sorry if i didnt...
ummm. haha.
kay then....
posted by David (age 16) on 4/4/2008
always go for love. a new guy is simply a phase. if you have a feeling you want to be with your best friend forever then dating this new guy will tear him apart and he may never feel the urge to date you again. he may think hes been simply replaced
posted by logan (age 16) on 4/4/2008
this depends on the relationship with the bestfriend, if said bestfriend really does like you, and shares the same feelings, i would go with him, because i am in a similar situation, me being the bestfriend.

if you are unconfident with making a decision, just let events play out by themselves, dont beat yourself up thinking about it, if youre not ready for a relationship now, then just sit back, and take some time to breathe, some time free of stress, it will help, and clear your mind.
posted by dave (age 19) on 4/4/2008
id say stay friends with both of them right now if you cant decide..because on one hand your friend knows everything about dont have to share your life story all over again and you can focus on the fun stuff..but you risk the chance of loosing your best friend..the other guy may be amazing and well you might be crushed if it doesnt work out but you wont have lost someone of 9 keep them both as friends for a little longer and then decide....
posted by j (age 22) on 4/4/2008
You know, I don't really have advice for you but I'm basically in the SAME exact situation. It really sucks. I haven't been with my boyfriend/best friend for nine years but I understand how you're feeling.
posted by Ciera (age 18) on 4/4/2008
sounds like you really like this guy. so my advice would be give the new guy a chance and if the other guy is you best freind and he loves you. then he will understand if you end up falling in love with this new guy.and then if you the new guy dont work out then you got some one that trully loves you waiting for you. and if you need anybody to talk to please fill free to email me.
best of luck to you
posted by jeremy on 4/4/2008
Until you know for sure who you want to be with (and you will know when you know) Just remain friends with both of them and take it slow. Who says you have to make a decision right now? Relationships take time and rushing into either or can mess everything up.
posted by Chelsea (age 19) on 4/5/2008
Well i think you should do what your heart tells you....If you know you are totally in love with your friend and everything was good when you were with him, then why not?..... I would thank the guy who did save your life but keep him as a friend. You never want to leave something you know is good, for something you havent yet experienced. Im not saying the man who saved you isnt going to be good, but you never know?.....Dont miss out on love!
posted by liz (age 18) on 4/5/2008
Hmmm... tuffy but seriously, lust never lasts and you might hurt ur bestie heaps... Specially after breaking it off with him and then goin for someone else.
I'd say just leave it, be friends and wait for another few months to see where that takes you and whether or not your feelings are still there.
posted by Amanda (age 21) on 4/5/2008
um honestly angela how i would choose wud be to get to know the other guy and see if he notices ur good qualitys but then again who can make you laugh and who makes you happy like with me i had a choice to be with this absolutly gorgeous guy who had a car and money and culd do things for me but i ended up folloin my heart and chose to be with the love of my life so i all depends. also do you wanna mix a relationship with ur bestfriend bc my friend did that and it ruined her friendship with him idk like i always say follow ur heart and who makes u feel mnore special when ur with them you know idk thats all i have to say
posted by hannah (age 18) on 4/5/2008

  [ disclaimer ] [ sign in ] [ contact us ] [ search ]
please take reasonable measures to protect your safety and privacy when posting situations or advice or participating in an exchange. read more... © word of advice, & powered by simplifyit. site map.