relationship advice (post new situation)
"why am i so jealous?"
i am eighteen years old and have been married since september. my husband is twenty four. i love him more than anything. recently we have been having issues because i get ridiculously jealous of other girls. he still talks to his ex girlfriends and recently proposed a threesome with one of them.. .without telling me. i found out by logging into his myspace account (which i had been doing because i worry and freak out a lot). i know its wrong to spy and im fine with the threesome idea, but with an ex? i got so upset and cried when i found out and all he told me was that its not a big deal and i should stop freaking out because, the more i worry the bigger chance there is that he WILL do something... i'm really confused and i hate worrying but i can't stop myself! he has never done anything wrong by me. he always tells (and shows) me that he loves me, and that he's too focused on other things to even look at other girls... but i'm going out of my mind. what should i do? =/
posted by samantha (age 18) on 4/7/2008 @1:11:38 PM •
Hi! I have been married for two years and I can understand where you are coming from completely. I did the same thing you are doing now when I first got married. It ended up pushing my husband away and I ended up moving out. Now that we have been seperated for 6 months I finally realized how stupid I was! Now we are in the process of rebuilding our marriage. Please do not let this be you. Your husband wouldn't have married you if he wanted somebody else. You need to focus on building your husband up and when you feel jealous just let it go and focus on what is GOOD about your marriage. Get to know the people you are jealous of. Chances are you will end up being friends with them and won't feel that way any more.

Also consider why you feel jealous. You say your husband has done nothing wrong? Are you sure that you aren't just being selfish and wanting him to put all of his focus on you? I think that was part of my problem with my marriage and a big reason I felt so much jealousy. Trust your husband and focus on the good things. Remind him that you appreciate the good things and hold on tight.

You have to decide you do not want to feel that way and work to make yourself NOT feel that way and things will get better. It's very hard- I know but it can be done.
posted by Penny (age 19) on 4/7/2008

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