relationship advice (post new situation)
So i'm in love with some one who doesn't love me back, and i don't understand why. I first met her more than two years ago, on the internet actually, but she was dating one of my best friends. so we talked, and in that first conversation, we talked for more than an hour about her life, and her feelings of regret from her relationship with her deceased brother, and ever since then we have connected like that on many different things. every time we spoke, if she had a problem, i was there to offeradvice and support. everytime she was sad i did my best to cheer her up. everytime her boyfriend made her feel worthless, i was there to reassure and encourage her. i have only ever cared about her happiness.

getting to the problem, she had told me before that if she wasn't with him she would have been with me. and more thasn once. but when they finally broke up, and i (allowing appropriate time) asked her out, she shot me down. and she kept making lame excuses. i cant understand it. how could she not want to go out with m eafter all the wonderful connections we have made?

we are still good friends, and we email back and forth every day, and thats good, but i want more, and i dont understand after everything she has said to me why she wouldnt want more. she has to know what i can offer her. she has to appreciate how much i care about her. theres no way she can not know. i mean for god's sake i have often told her that i love her and want to be more to her.

why does she not pursue what she professes to desire?
posted by Joe (age 20) on 4/16/2008 @1:03:17 AM •
okayy,..i think that if she dnt say that she wants to be with youu and that she keeps turnin youu down with lame reasons then you should move on bc youu cant make someone love you i wish youu could but thats just a wish...and i also think that youu can find a woman that wants to be with youu as much as youu do them...and before youu move on i would have a tlk with her sayin that youu need to kno somehting bc your tired of waitin on her for when when shes single bc you gave her time and she shot you down so yeah i would have that tlk then see what happens and if she dnt understand i think youu should move on..,,,
good luck.
posted by Teela.. (age 16) on 4/23/2008
hey i think you should move on...
posted by nicole (age 25) on 4/23/2008
take it from an old dude - a good percentage of ladies your age are looking - for lack of a better term - for a bad guy. they like the challenge, and they really believe they can change the bad guy into a good one.

that never works out. ever.

what i'd do is just hang in there, but don't wait for her. keep your options open, and don't pass someone else up because you think this one will finally understand she wants to be with you... if it's supposed to happen, it will.

if not, somebody even better than her will come around, and she will have lost her chance.

just hang in there.
posted by jon (age 32) on 4/23/2008

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