family advice (post new situation)
"My mother is short tempered"
My mother and my aunt both live in Florida. I live in New York. I am going down there to visit in August. I told my mother that I would be spending alot of time at my aunt's house. the reason is I am thinking of moving in with her in the future. My mother screamed and yelled and told me how hurt she was that I would be spending the majority of the time at my aunt's house. I told her to pack a bag and come stay with us. It didn't matter. She's hurt. The truth is my mother is touchy, explosive at times and insulting. I would rather stay with my aunt. I'm thinking of just skipping the vacation altogether. Any advice would be appreciated! I'm 40 years old.
posted by Tracy (age 40) on 7/14/2008 @3:28:21 PM •
I really don't think that you should skip this vacation... you're letting your mother get the best of you... which believe me I know that feeling...
I have a mother who believes that if I tell her no it is the end of the world... there have been many times when I will do something like going to a family funtion I don't want to go to... because I have three children and a husband of my own that I would like to spend time with... and I go... because if I don't it's like I've dissapointed her... I've hurt her... she can't go now... because what will she tell people...
and lately... mostly because my husband got fed up with it... I just tell her too bad...
and you would not believe how wonderfull that feels... when you start living your life for you and not ... in fear that you may hurt your mother or have to deal with her being angry or upset with you... you truly can just enjoy your life...
you're not a child anymore and you don't have to answer to your mother...
if you want to go even further I would do this in a letter... it's easier that way... I would tell your mother how you feel... not in a rude or hurtfull way... but in a way that makes her see your point of view.... you may be surprise at how she reacts and it might even bring the two of you closer... ..
I hope some of this helped you and I really do hope you keep your trip..
posted by Nikki (age 25) on 7/14/2008
I know im only 18 but i know what im talking about.My moms the same way,Except shes not somtimes touchy and explosive,its ALL the time.When we lived togather i always threatened to live with my aunt,she hated it.But now that i have a baby and fiancee,we get along.When she yells at me i just yell back and point out the resons for me leaving.It seems to work for awhile.Till she drinks.uck
posted by leann (age 18) on 8/4/2008

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